The Royal Word

I forgot the Internet was random

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:38:00 +0000

Honestly, I totally forgot. I've been doing this blogging/social networking/blah blah blah stuff for so long that I forgot just how totally bonkers the Internet can be.

I was searching for a photo I had uploaded to my site to share with a friend as a laugh. A very, very geeky photo which I will share with you in good time. I couldn't remember the URL, so I started just searching using good ol' google.

I didn't manage to find the photo I was looking for, but I did find other interesting and strange things involving other photos of mine (and just how many sites out there are aggregating twitter. Like my Joe Budden/Joe Biden tweet has somehow become attached to the Huffington Post. WTF!).

There's that now infamous photo of the November Rain wedding dress by Cymbaline that so many people link to and e-mail me about (like in earnest, wanting to find a way to buy it, OMFG), which accounts for a lot of links. And I mean links in many languages, but beyond that, it gets a little odd.

Like this person from Miami, who found one of my photos of my Christmas tree and used it on her Christmas holiday greeting. Kind of flattering and it also inspired the following IM between Tash and I:

tashariffic: I was trying to read it....but then I realized, I don't speak Spanish
herhighnessness: How far did you get?
herhighnessness: For some reason, I'm imagining a cartoon where the main character runs out over a cliff, but keeps on running until he realizes he's over thin air, and then falls
tashariffic: hehe
tashariffic: well I realized it was Spanish but thought "maybe I'll still get it"
tashariffic: I didn't.

The oddest by far is the use of a photo of my beloved cat Zeus, on a site for a cat-based role playing game (scroll down a little). Like, he's a character. Apparently he's a Medicine Cat, named Mountaintail: "A handsome tom with orange brown eyes and a grey pelt. He is kind but overprotective. His mate is Shadowclaw and his kit is Dawnkit."

Umm... okay. I mean, the first thing to come to my mind is that it's pretty clear in this photo that this cat's eyes are green. And also, it's a cat RPG. I mean, it's fine to have one and for people to play RPGs (though I don't really get them), I just always kind of imagined Zeus as a first-person-shooter.

Oh, Internet. You never fail to amuse.

HRH

TDot and tired

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 04:05:00 +0000

I'm back, babies! And all the photos from the trip are uploaded to flickr. I am also unpacked. Yay me. Sadly the heat is broken (apparently it will be fully fixed tomorrow) so I'm recovering from my sun burns in my slippers. Kinda odd.

Ahh well, back to the real world and jet lag. Bye, bye sunny SoCal. I enjoyed your Disney, fruit, beaches and sun. And the fact that the always rad Wendy was my guide.

HRH

Photos posted! (posting)

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:37:00 +0000

I'm taking a moment to upload some photos between games of basketball and dips in the pool. I can't even tell you how nostalgic it is to have been at Disney yesterday and playing basketball today. It's like being in my teens, but fatter... and less dumb. Turns out I can still shoot a basketball pretty well. Woot.

Today looks like it's going to be a tea house and a movie once the pending rain rolls in. Until then, I'm at the pool. Photos are uploading to my flickr roll as I type and I'll add stories shortly. Until then, the sun and surf beckon.

HRH

SoCal girl

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 02:11:00 +0000

I've been in California for about a day and a half and if I had my way I'd move everything I need from Toronto here. I mean, I love the east and the snow and all that, but seriously, it's awesome here. I never used to like the beach, but now I get it. I so get it.

It guess it doesn't hurt that I have the best host on the planet, who has been cooking for me, showing me all around the Newport Beach/Laguna Beach area, sitting out on the beach with me and, oh yeah, being the awesome that is Wendy.

I'm getting into this SoCal thing too. Wearing less makeup, getting really laid back and eating a lot of organic produce. I mean, it's all grown right here. It's like it's August in Canada, but all year long.

I'll post photos soon. I picked up a camera today (as my cameras at home both went terminal on me before I left) so hopefully I'll get that all working soon.

Until then, it's back to the beach for me.

HRH

Bikini small. Heel tall. She said she liked the ocean.

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:12:00 +0000

Um yeah. The crazy just doesn't stop around here. With five days of birthday celebrations and packing M for his trip to Prague (and that job thing; man is that thing a time sucker) I've been very much down with the busy.

And that all comes to an end tomorrow.

I suppose one has to have actually been to Cali to go back. Meh, details.

I'm taking off for a week of ocean side chillin', dancin' and singin' in Newport Beach with my dear Wendy. She has promised to hover over me and utter Americanisms while I sleep so that I can come back to Canada talkin' all American like. She's also promised to take me to Disneyland, feed me and take me surfing.

I am so easily bribed.

HRH

The age of exponents

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:35:00 +0000

I turn 32 tomorrow. I'm trying to amuse myself about it all by noting that you can also state my age as two to the power of five. Thinking of it this way, not only lets me say a smaller number when ask my age, but it also makes me look like an enormous nerd. Like almost legendary levels of nerd.

Things have been busy. Largely good busy, but so much so that I haven't had the usual time available to gripe and grouse about getting older. I came up with the mathematical revelation about 32 in March for someone else's 32nd birthday. Really, this has not been my best neurotic effort.

Or perhaps it's just not that big of a deal anymore? I don't really have that yearning need to have the world stop and reflect on the wonder that was my birth. I'm more in the zone of having a pint with some good friends and reflecting on the wonder that I pulled of another year without doing something epically stupid.

Yay me. :)

HRH

Benefit That Gal

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:43:00 +0000

Dewy. Do you ever wonder what that term means? I do. I see if in makeup ads and books all the time. I think of dew and I imagine that feeling of stepping on grass in the early morning and totally getting my shoe wet. I find that annoying. But I do get it. Dewy is supposed to mean fresh, young and radiant. I think of it more as approved oiliness.

Anyway, everyone wants that dewy look, cause we all want to look like we were born from nature, so full of life and renewal that sparkling drops of rain could fall from our fingers if we wished it so. Again, it's strategically placed shine on your face. But who am I to take the romance out of primer.

For people with dry skin, a luminizer is a really good idea. Dry skin doesn't produce enough sebum. Sebum is what makes skin shiny (or dewy if you prefer). While you, my dry skinned sisters, may moisturize from sun-up to sun-down, it's hard to get glow. While it's sad that the glow may not come on it's own, you all get tiny pores from dry skin, so I don't feel that sad about it. You can put an luminzer like Benefit's That Gal before your foundation and you'll be glowing up a storm.

It's light, pinky and smells delicous. It's a great primer and makes you look like you just had a chance encounter with a cute boy. Even those of us with oily skin can enjoy this product as it helps keep makeup from sliding off throughout the day.

Primer and luminizer. A clever combination that makes you look like you just jumped out of a nature scene, even though you've been at the office all day.

HRH

Metamorphosis

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 14:46:00 +0000

Assuming I can find the time, there will be some structural changes coming to The Royal Word. Problems with the web host have inspired a move over to Wordpress and off of Blogger (I know, me leaving a google property. It's freaking madness). Since the site hasn't had a makeover in some time, it also seems prudent to overhaul that.

So look for some changes in the near future. Maybe the very near future if I can find a way to survive without sleep.

HRH

Terms of use

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:32:00 +0000

C: Did you see that American money was one of the suggestions I got for your anniversary gift on Twitter?
M: I liked the moustache one.
C: Yeah, you can be sure that won't happen.
M: Oh it's happening in November (Movember).
C: Ah yes. Movember, the month of no kissing.
M: Well, not kissing you.
C: I know it doesn't say it explictly in our wedding vows that we don't kiss other people, but I think it's implied.

HRH

Technical smechincal

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:00:00 +0000

Some may have noticed that there have been some problems with the blog of late. Some have been server-side, some have been Bloggerside. Bottom line is that it's taking an eternity for things to post.

Solutions and options are being considered. In the meantime I thank you for your patience and hope that things will be back to normal soon.

HRH

Whitening Listerine Quick Dissolving Strips

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 16:17:00 +0000

About a month back I was contacted by some marketing people at Listerine to test out one of their new products. Whitening Listerine Quick Dissolving Strips, a tooth whitening product that dissolves in your mouth as it works. Apply them correctly, and you have a quick, mess-free way to brighten your smile.

And we all like to have a bright smile.

While my first use of the strips was a little on the gross side, I've been pretty happy with them ever since. I really didn't know what to expect with the first use and despite the excellent use instructions, I think I had them on the wrong way around so it was kind of foamy and a little hard on my stomach.

The second time was much better and very easy. Because the strip is really flexible, I could mold the strip around my less-than-straight teeth. People with small teeth can even cut to strip to fit their mouths better.

I've been using them about twice a day since for about three weeks, until I got a cold, which put all whitening projects on hold.

Generally, I've found them really convenient to use, applying them during my streetcar ride to work, before bed, even after my lunch break. For me they completely dissolve in about 15 minutes and I started noticing whiter teeth after about four days.

Along with my whitening kit, I also got a bunch of free samples, which I gave to friends and colleagues. Reactions to the product have varied from grossed out to positive, yielding some excellent user feedback:

-Kinda gross, but they fit better than the usual strips
-I love them. They're really easy to use
-These will be perfect for my wedding prep
-Makes my teeth feel furry
-They're really easy to use when you put them on the right way
-Tastes like I'm licking a cupboard (*I have no idea what this means or what this person keeps in their cupboards)

A colleague who tested the strips for me said she really liked how easy they were to use and how there was very little mess. She admitted that she drinks a lot of wine and eats fresh blueberries each day and while her teeth usually stay white in spite of that, she's going to keep the strips around for after times when she has a lot of wine. I now keep a set in my purse for post wine occasions at her suggestions.

Basically, they're quick and easy to use. Especially if you don't have a spare 30 minutes, twice a day to sit around with strips or trays in your mouth. They're an excellent and affordable solution to whitening on the go.

If you'd like to try some, the nice people at Listerine will send you some for free. Check out the link here.

HRH

Eating my way out of crazy town

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:41:00 +0000

Among the various things I'm in therapy for, my issues with food have proven to be some of the more interesting topics of treatment. Throughout the course of my life, multiple factors have come together to make food and eating a pretty high source of anxiety. So much so, that if tomorrow they were to create a pill that you took once a day and you didn't have to worry about nutrition, I'd be first in line.

It's not that I don't find food satisfying or delicious. Nor is it that I've had no exposure to great food. Quite the contrary. Food is amazing and when done right, one of the superlative features of living. Still, it really, really stresses me out.

There are the obvious stressors like what food is good for me and what food will make me fat. These thoughts are what helped me loose all that weight back in 2005 and part of what has inspired periodic bulimia since the age of 15. Positive and negative results. Thoughts that aren't very unique to me either. They are, however, the tip of an interesting iceberg, or the chocolate sauce on an ice cream sundae of crazy. (I was going to say the chopped nuts, but I'm allergic to peanuts and didn't want to run the risk of a reaction, even if it's only in my metaphors).

The next level of anxiety producers are (nice segue) my allergy-based food restrictions. They annoy me and embarrass me. Yes, I have to be careful about peanuts. It's a dangerous allergy and I have to be constantly vigilant. I also have to be a perpetual downer and pain in the ass for people who want to feed me. I know they don't want to kill me with their food and they most likely don't mind accommodating me if they can, but I know that everyone involved would be happier if it just wasn't an issue.

There are the foods that may kill me and then there are the foods that will hinder me through headaches. Raw onions or some wines to name a few. Too much garlic and my heart races. It's food I can eat, but I'll pay for it.

So many boundaries. So many rules. And we're not even at the best part yet.

You'd think that having food allergies and body image compulsions would be restrictive enough, but I dove head-first into the crazy pool and threw in some more. Here are some of the highlights:

- Super-fast eater: Yes I grew up in a house where we all ate really fast. M eats really fast. In all situations, I am the first one done my meal. And by done my meal, I mean plate cleaned, licked dry if I'm in the right company. I think there are a couple of factors at play. Even though I've never had cause to fear for where my next meal is coming from, I eat each meal like it's my last. Also, spending so much time focused on regimented dieting, I'm usually really, really hungry by the time food is in front of me.

Next, and I think this is the kicker, by eating, it means I don't have to talk. Dinner conversation? When the food hits the table, I don't have to stress about thinking of things to say. Just eat and listen. A handy-dandy distraction for the socially anxious.

- Fear of the unknown: There are some parts of my life where I am open to new ideas and experiences. Food is not one of those things. I'm not entirely sure where my notions of what's tasty and what's not come from, but when I have them (right or wrong) they are fully cemented in my brain. More often than not, my notions have been confirmed by smelling the new food in question and, in some rare instances, by actual tasting.

I've spent some time in therapy addressing this issue in particular. As mental as the other food problems are, this one seems to cause me the most stress. Eating a food I may not like really freaks me out. What if it tastes bad? What if it's the only food there is to eat? What if I'm wasting food? What if people get upset with me for not liking it and begin to question/judge me?

You may find this comical, but even just writing those four questions set off feelings of anxiety in me.

Because I have so many rules (both rational and irrational) going out for dinner can be a very stressful situation. Friends may note that I just keep going to the same places over and over again. I know that there's food that I will like there. I will be able to eat the whole meal and I will know that it's a sure and safe thing. I will be able to enjoy going out for dinner, I will not waste food or money and I won't have to have the nerve wracking experience of trying to find something I know I will like on a new menu. I'm totally one of those people who can eat the same thing every day and not be bothered by it.

So, so many boundaries. And they're often tested by a spouse and friends who delight in gastronomical experiences. Many, many times I've encountered flavours and foods that have really enriched my life. And by encountered I mean, tried them kicking and screaming all the while.

Therapy so far seems to be all about experiments. Trying things that test my assumptions, usually proving them wrong. This alleviates anxiety. Something I've found to be true when applying my experiments to social situations. Now we're on to food.

One of my experiments is to try a new food each week. Not a big deal for some I'm sure, but for me, not an easy task. It really stresses me out and nothing seems more appealing to me than being my usual belligerent self and sticking to things that are tried and true. But I'm doing it. And no one is happier about this than M is. He's captain adventure-food and I think with progress in this arena, I'll be less of a culinary albatross around his neck.

It's been two weeks since this experiment began and I haven't as much tried totally new foods as I've tried different incarnations of things I know. Preparations I would have previously refused.

So during our recent vacation, I had a seared duck breast, a watermelon salad with feta cheese and balsamic vinegar (three flavours I enjoy independently, but would not ever eat together) and, the biggest deal of all, a burger just the way it was. I only eat burgers with ketchup on them. That's it. This burger had pancetta bacon, smoked cheddar cheese, a deflamed onion and heirloom tomatoes. I had the burger with all the stuff on it and it was really, really good.

Maybe I'll be able to stop pinning my hopes on the food pill after all.

HRH

Spectacle

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:44:00 +0000

*as M and I watch the closing ceremonies for the 2008 Beijing Olympics

M: Someone needs to come up with the next big thing after fireworks for events.
C: I'd say this thing is pretty big on fireworks.
M: That's not what I mean. Fireworks, everyone does fireworks. What's next? What's new?
C: Ritual sacrifice?
M: You can't see that from far away.

HRH

Lost it's flavour

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:27:00 +0000

I have eight gossip sites in my RSS reader that contribute close to 500 posts a day. A day. And for the last I don't even know how long, I have kept up with them, consuming them like some kind of scriptural addiction.

This weekend, I stepped away from my computer for awhile. Mostly because I've been enjoying my online experience through my iphone. While away, my RSS reader amassed more than 3000 articles. My obsessive nature usually dictates that I would have to scan through all 66 feeds that I subscribe to (the gossip people being amoung the most prolific) no matter how long the list of posts, but something in my head snapped when I saw almost 1500 gossip posts. I thought "is this really that interesting?" and hit "mark all as read."

I've wanted to be free of all the gossip for such a long time, but I kept going back time and time again, coming to hate it the more and more I read it yet needing to read as much as I could. I felt really liberated by this weekend and have continued to mark the gossip blogs as read today. I'm hoping it will stick all week so I can get up the conviction to delete the category entirely.

Given the mingling of fashion, beauty and celebrity, I know in my heart this emancipation will be short lived.

HRH

The joys of being sidelined

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 12:47:00 +0000

Summer weekends, when you have little to do, are a reminder of how therapeutic stillness can be. It works even better when there's little you can do because you started your weekend off in the emergency room with a torn open toe.

Yes. That was how Thursday started. After a lovely evening's walk on my own, I came home thinking of all the things I would clean and all the ways I would exercise on the long weekend. I had a few passive goals; fall asleep reading a book, watch an artsy DVD and get a bit of sun on my skin; but mostly I had walks, swims and dates with a mop and bucket in my four day plan.

Thankfully (?) I hurt my toe. it was a bloody mess that couldn't be stitched and may take awhile to heal, but the health care system did me proud getting me in and as treated as I could be in less than three hours. Pretty amazing for downtown Toronto on the Thursday before Caribana.

While this injury is really tender and annoying, I'm not feeling completely negative about it. It is going to make exercise, specifically dance classes something I'll have to assess on a case by case basis. And yes, that means that every morsel of food I eat will be under even more scrutiny since I can't just dance away my bad choices. But for the last four days, limited mobility has been just the intervention I needed.

On Friday, I just sat around with my foot elevated, watching art films. From time to time I would just doze off, listening to Jean Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg speak circles in French. M graciously did the errands for that day, made me an excellent steak dinner and I rested. Rested like I only rest on a Caribbean vacation. When I'm at home, if I can be doing something I will. But this was great because I really couldn't. The most high intensity work I did was reorganizing my toiletries shelf and finishing the ironing.

Saturday I hobbled to the car and met M's mother for lunch, had dinner with friends at Julie's Cuban and since I couldn't drive, I couldn't be the DD, even if I wanted to. I'm always happy to be the DD, but there was something pleasantly irresponsible about not doing it this time.

As my toe got getter and better, I ventured out for a walk on Sunday. Brunch and some pick up shopping on Roncy before a hard afternoon of napping. That night brought friends over for dinner, again with M doing most of the prep and cooking. I think we had at least a bottle of wine each, which meant that Monday was again spent horizontal.

I feel so rested. Sure my toe is still far form healed, as it started to bleed again on my way to work this morning, but I feel like I was really able to recuperate. Largely in thanks to my wonderful husband and less in thanks to my damaged toe.

HRH

The Kelly Clarkson scale

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:39:00 +0000

*As Kelly Clarkson's Miss Independent comes on the radio.\

M: I don't want to admit it, but I still like this song.
C: That's alright. There are some Kelly Clarkson songs that it's okay for a straight guy to like.
M: Really?
C: Oh yeah! It's totally acceptable for you to like Walk Away, Since You've Been Gone or Miss Independent.
M: Even Miss Independent? Isn't it all about female empowerment?
C: Not really. It's about how she's giving up being independent because she's fallen in love.
M: I should really listen to the words some times.
C: Admittedly, it's closer to the line than the other songs. You'd really get into trouble if you liked Because of You, Behind These Hazel Eyes or Breakaway. Breakaway would be bad.
M: That would be crossing the International Gay Line?
C: Pretty much.

HRH

Dare I hope?

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:12:00 +0000

Long time readers may recall back in 2002 in Prague, M and I saved up our crowns and bought bikes. They were made by a Czech company called Author. Mine was red, white and black. M's was orange, of course. We didn't ride them every day, but we rode them a lot, touring the parks and streets of Prague.

I lugged both of them back with me on the flight from Prague to Toronto in 2003 (with a cat!) and rode it all the time while I lived in Kingston that summer. Like so many people that we've been reading about since the first raid, I had a connection with my bike.

So when it was stolen in the winter of 2004 I was upset. Yes, I got a new bike and it's a good bike, but it's not as special to me as that first bike was.

All this recent news of the raids on Igor Kenk's astounding ring of bicycle thievery is giving me mixed emotions about my old bike. When the first few raids were made I had a glimmer of hope. Sure the police told me the day the bikes were stolen that they were most likely already on a container in a boat on its way to a black market somewhere overseas, but imagine if they were still here in Toronto. I knew the chances were slim, but it was hard not to think that my bike could be in there.

Even more remarkable that more than 250 bikes were uncovered yesterday two blocks from my house. I know, I know. It's so unlikely that the bikes will be there. That hasn't stopped me from pulling out whatever documents I have that prove that my bike was mine. I even have photos of me on my old bike, but who knows what the police will require in terms of evidence of ownership.

Even if our bikes aren't in that huge warehouse this weekend, I hope that some people are reunited with what was stolen from them. And like the poem on the front door of Igor's house of stolen property says "Bike thieves rot in hell."

HRH

Darphin Arotiva Eye & Lip Contour Gel

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:48:00 +0000

One of my former bosses took me aside at the age of 27 and said "no matter what you do, use a good eye cream." Looking at her astoundingly youthful looks, I took it to heart.

For those of us who choose to smile and smirk their way through life, wrinkles are going to happen. While a "dance like no one is watching" approach to aging is empowering and all, I'll use whatever I can to keep those bad boys fine and shallow.

Just before the holidays Chanel discontinued my beloved Age-Delay Eye Cream. You don't even know how much I loved that stuff. I'd been using it for about five years and it got me compliments like "did you swallow a fairy?" (thank you Mel!). Gel based which helped with puffiness, perfect for the first stages of aging skin and those Coco wearing clowns in Paris pulled it off the market in favour of an "energizing multi-protection creme" with SPF. SPF, right by my eyes. SPF that makes my skin go postal. Oh and it's milky, not a gel, so you don't get the same cooling effect. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I'd never say that Chanel is dead to me, cause I world without Chanel is no world I want to be a part of, but this was the first time they'd really let me down.

My sage former boss swore by Darphin, so off to Darphin I trotted, the clerks at the counter salivating at the prospect of getting hooked for life. They hooked me up with the Arotiva Eye & Lip Contour Gel. Something akin to the Chanel gel in consistency.

Sadly they also piled me with all these serums, giving me really difficult and not particularly clear instructions on how to use it. Do I use the serum before the cream? Do I use it twice a day? Why does it smell like oranges? I had many questions and over the next few months I tested a number of serum/gel variables and came to this conclusion:

The gel is awesome. I use it twice a day and despite lifestyle changes that have meant less sleep, my eyes look pretty excellent for 31. The serum does nothing but smell and irritate my eyes.

They, the Darphin folks, suggested that without the serum you might as well give up and cover your head in a bag (okay I may be making that part up, but they did stress its importance in the beauty regimen). Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention to how and when to use it, but it did nothing for me. I also suspect that they gave me the wrong kind of serum for my skin. Maybe people with dry skin would find the stuff I had more effective?

Long story short (too late), the eye gel is great. Cooling, protecting and you don't need a huge amount of it to make a difference. I'm still using the same container I got in December, using it twice a day and I think it might make it to next December. With longevity like that, it makes the $96 price tag pretty reasonable.

HRH

Beset with wireless devices

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:20:00 +0000

M got an iphone this weekend. It's a sleek, smart and sexy little thing. I'm very happy that he was able to get one and I think it's the right kind of device for him. It's a phone, it's an ipod, he can check e-mail, find stuff on a map, play Super Monkey Ball, take photos... it truly is a brave new world. Everything he needs in one device. I have to confess some jealousy here. It's a beautiful piece of technology and it works for what he needs it to do.

I'm in an annoying wireless situation. I have a cell phone. A very pretty Nokia 7370. I love the way it looks, but have started to hate the way it works. Or more accurately, the way it doesn't work. There's some connection amiss in the swivel that makes the phone think that it's closed every time I press a number on the keypad. This results in the screen flipping it's image upside down and back pretty much constantly. I can cope with it, nauseating as it is, but text messaging throws me into a silent rage every time I do it.

I also carry a blackberry 8800 for work. It just has my work e-mail, work phone, some IM capability, no SMS capability. Since it belongs to my employer, it's pretty locked down and it would also be really inappropriate to use it as a personal phone or to use the data plan to check things like gmail over WAP.

Then I have my ipod. Which I listen to constantly and love dearly. We go almost everywhere together.

So I had this idea where I could get a Blackberry curve, link in my personal e-mail and work e-mail, have a phone, customize it how I'd like and have less crap to carry around. Berry and ipod. I'd be laughing. But I can't. I'm so not laughing. Sadly, because of policy at work, I can't purchase my own blackberry and add my work information to it, which was what I was hoping for. I'm basically stuck carrying at three devices all the time. And that sucks.

I've had the discussion of blackberry vs. iphone as well. You know, merge the phone and ipod part. For what I do, and most of what I do is e-mail based, the blackberry makes the most sense. The iphone is tremendously sexy and I would love one, but it wouldn't do what I need it to do and it would just be a whole lot of insane to carry and blackberry and an iphone.

Technology thwarted by policy and that's a shame. It's frustrating that I could be able to carry around an ipod and a blackberry, having my device needs met, but it's three devices for me, one of which doesn't work properly, another of which is has limited functionality and needs to be used responsibly and the last which works so well. Thank you Apple for that at least.

HRH

Numbers don't lie

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:04:00 +0000

There comes a point where a person has to be practical. I dance back and forth across the line of practical and frivolous pretty easily. I know that it's wise to be prudent, but I also know that a girl's gotta live. Sometimes I do a bit too much living and have to scale back. Other times, it just becomes undeniable that the practical way makes too much sense to ignore.

Last year M and I started driving to work. Transit around our part of town was under construction, information about reroutes had been poor at best and it took a lot less time to drive in. It was a bit more expensive, but not by too much and we didn't have to deal with other people. Our car took regular gas then, there was a route, things seemed to work.

Now that we have a car that runs on premium (and paying for gas these days is like a sucking chest wound regardless of the grade) and M is at a new office, the carpooling system isn't working so well. It actually takes him less time to get to work via transit at this place. I'm wanting to get into work earlier and we're both staying a lot later. Sadly, we're not car pooling like we did.

We did some math, didn't like the answer, did more math, hated that answer and then did some more. Going back to both of us taking transit each day will save us over $200 a month. Like wow. I can't even begin to ignore that, no matter how hard I try. I have to wonder how much more we would save if the transit system was priced sensibly, but that's another rant.

At this point, it's the right thing to do. I hate that it is, but it's too much of a savings to ignore. I've really enjoyed having the flexiblity that the car gives me. Being able to run errands at lunch, getting home quickly after the gym, heck, just driving every day is a joy, espeically in my zoom-zoomy little car. The best part of it was that M and I would have a bit more time together during the week. Even though it would take him longer to get to work when we drove, he would still carpool with me for the company.

On the plus side, maybe saving more will reduce the severity of the stabbing pains I get in my chest every time I read about the economic downturn and the end of the world as we know it in the news every day. Oh dear. If that's the upside of this, what a sad, sad day.

HRH

DiorShow Blackout Mascara

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:46:00 +0000

Dawn and I had a happenstancial meeting at the Eaton Centre during lunch this week that, unsurprisingly, ended in a visit to Sephora. That place is always more fun with your friends. While there I realized that it had been awhile since I'd been in there which meant that it had also been awhile since I replenished my mascara supply.

Mascara is a gateway makeup. You start with something innocuous like Great Lash Mascara, one of the beauty world's best bang-for-your-buck items. And as great and cheap as it is, there comes a point where you just need something more.

So you walk into a beauty store and view the wall of great eye-enhancing options. I've tried out my share of mascaras. I will always hold a special place in my heart for Lancome and the love I will always have for Flextencils and Hypnose. I've flirted with items from Stila, been underwhelmed by Shu Umerea and even dabbled in some Benefit BadGal Blue. All good steps towards my latest mascara love.

So with much pride I share with you DiorShow Blackout Mascara. Admittedly I wasn't blown away by it's original recipe, but this kohl-based, blackest-of-blacks version is awesome in a tube. I get lashes so long, full and dark and it's almost inappropriate. Blackout is my new normal. So much so that I find it hard to go back to anything else. I think the only place I can go from here is false eyelashes.

I used it on a client recently who was going for a very dramatic Bridget Bardot look and I don't think any other mascara would have been up to the job of such deep, dark, sultriness. Needless to say, this one gets a huge endorsement from me.

Awesome in a tube.

HRH

8/10

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:44:00 +0000

As some readers have noted to me, I've been not-so-subtly been putting it out there that the last 5 months have not been the pinnacle of sanity for me. I haven't missed a day of work and I've resisted the urge to retreat an anti-social cave of my own making, but it hasn't been easy. I have this problem, where my throat and esophagus constrict and it doesn't go away until I deal with my anxiety in some manner.

A little while back I started CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) cause this not swallowing/choking thing is so last year. There are a couple of things on the plate to sort out, the first of which we started tackling today: social anxiety.

My particular brand of it doesn't usually manifest when I'm actually around other people. It comes to light when I'm preparing to interact with other people. Interacting socially, not professionally. Thankfully something flips in my head that prevents me from getting freaked out in professional situations. Socially I get freaked out when I'm imagining all the ways I can do things wrong or embarrass myself. When I think of all the ways I can be judged.

I do all kinds of pre-thinking, imagining all the ways people I know and may meet will negatively judge me. Everyone does this to a degree. This is something we all have to contend with being social beings. I seem to amp it up a few more degrees than necessary.

So to start modifying the behaviours that go with my thoughts about potential negative judgement, I was instructed to list all the thoughts and feelings I have when I'm anxious prior to a social event. So feelings like fear, frustration and anxiety, and thoughts like "I'm going to do something embarrassing,","People are going to think that I'm stupid; shy; stuck up; rude,", "I shouldn't be nervous,","I should be more interesting,","I'm wearing the wrong thing","People are going to think that I have the wrong purse; shoes; etc."

When you look at it all, I mean, no wonder I get socially anxious. I make it seem like I'm living in the movie Heathers. No one is actually that awful. Okay, there are some people like that, but most people are really nice, understanding and could care less about my purse.

Happily I've got two things to do that can help me avoid getting anxious before a social gathering. First, I have to keep reminding myself that my pre-thoughts are largely untrue. Like, absurdly so. The second, and more interesting idea, is that in order to develop comfort with negative judgement, I assume that a two out of every ten people will disapprove of me. Simple as that. Which means that on average I'm going to have a good time with and be liked by 80 per cent of the people I encounter in social situations. That's pretty cool.

By just assuming that there are two people that are going to negatively judge me, I feel less stressed about it. No matter what I might do, right or wrong, they're still going to judge and that's just how it is. Somehow knowing this ahead of time puts me at ease.

So if we meet at a party and I refer to you as a one through to an eight, it's shockingly not a Battlestar Galactica reference, it means that I don't think you're judging me negatively and we're totally cool. If you're nine or ten, you suck.

Today's sing-a-long song: Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple

HRH

MAC Brush Cleanser

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:42:00 +0000

You clean your brushes, right? After every use, just like you're supposed to? If you're saying yes right now, I bet you floss regularly and iron your sheets too.

It's funny. When I'm painting on canvas, I clean all my paintbrushes right away. I suppose because I'm usually running out of the house shortly after I paint my face that my makeup brushes don't get the same quality treatment.

Now I always wash my brushes before and after I do a makeup job. Always. Other people's health and hygiene are stake. But when it's just me, I confess, I can go waaaaay to long between brush washings. Like weeks too long. And yeah, that's just kind of gross, but I know there are some people out there who just don't wash their brushes, ever. Ewww.

Brushes are lovely places for bacteria and other such evils to conglomerate. A quick washing and you're in the clear from all those nasties. I mean, think about it for a minute. You spend how much on cleansers, facial treatments, makeup and brushes trying to make your skin look amazing, but if you don't clean your brushes regularly, you might as well be washing your face with rats. Also your makeup goes on better as the colour isn't contaminated and you're not fighting with residual goop.

So now that I have you concerned about bacterial infections, breakouts and a nasty case of pink eye, let's talk brush cleansers. Since good brushes are made a lovely fibres like goat and boar hair, it's a good idea to use a very gentle cleanser. I'm a fan of the MAC brush cleanser. It costs about $10 and does a nice job. It's pretty easy to use and since most of my brushes are MAC, I feel pretty confident about it prolonging their life. I use paper towel or a clean tea towel to dry them off after rinsing and lay them out to air dry.

If you don't feel like throwing down $10 every so often, you can also use baby shampoo, as it's also tremendously gentle. Make sure you dilute it though. I tend to use it for deep cleaning. Benefit used to make a combination makeup remover/brush cleaner, which they discontinued a few years back. However, gentle makeup remover can also be used as a brush cleaner. It's still removing makeup after all.

What matters most is that you get your brushes clean, regularly. Make it part of your cleaning schedule and stop rubbing nasty old makeup on your face every day.

HRH

Should I rewind?

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:00:00 +0000

I heard the new New Kids On The Block song Summertime last week. Because of work and social constraints I haven't had the time to sit down and give this song the attention it deserves.

Before I go on, I should state for the record that when I was 11/12, NKOTB was the sun that my world revolved around. My bedroom was plastered, from floor to ceiling in photos pulled from teenie-bopper magazines (My sister has a photo that she's holding onto for a prime blackmail opportunity of me sitting in the middle of my shrine, holding a photo of Donnie Whalberg, smiling an embarrassingly large smile at it all). I knew every breath of every song, knew every dance move and had the superlative moment of my 12-year-old life at their concert in Ottawa (which my very kind future blackmailer sister took me to). You know, just like every other girl at that time. :)

I'd like to be too cool for school here and be embarrassed of being part of that collectivist idolatry experience, but I am, in no way, ashamed. It was a hell of a lot of fun. Like Sapphire in Almost Famous said "To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts." While NKOTB was in no way about loving the music, I was still very much in love. Love as a 12-year-old girl understands it.

Now that I've listened to Summertime about 100 times in the last week, I think the new song Summertime is brilliant. Not musically brilliant, but totally market savvy. NKOTB know that their fans have grown up. Many of them married with kids in their early 30s, working hard, lots of responsibility and lots of reality. Putting out a song teeming with nostalgia, set in the most carefree season of the year is very clever.

I know it appeals to me that way. There's a bit of horror in my heart as I've now joined that demographic that can be appealed to through nostalgia, but I'll forgive it. And not to suggest that I long for a different time in my life, cause life keeps getting better as I get older and there's no way I'd go back to adolescence, even if you paid me. But something about the song makes me feel like an ex-boyfriend from way, way back in the day got in touch to say "We weren't meant to be, but it was a great moment in my life." It was summer; it was carefree; it was all about fun.

So to the lads I once adored from Beantown; right back at you, boys! It was a good time and I commend you on coming back in a way that makes it a pleasure to reflect on the past without tainting those oh so precious memories. While thinking of those days doesn't make me crazy per say, it does give me an embarrassingly large smile.

HRH

This would have been more useful yesterday

noreply@blogger.com (Her Highnessness) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:17:00 +0000

Boo Turkey.

HRH