Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Pause

If life would just hold on for, like, two seconds I could tell the world about it. You'd think that life would see the inherent value in this and slow the heck down, but that's life for you. Barreling on without thinking it through.

Things remain very busy, though thanks to a weekend at Gary's cottage, I am better equipped to deal with strange ways of the world. My liver's a touch tender and I'm playing a lot of Amy Winehouse on my ipod as that's what the tender-livered listen to. On Monday night, when we stayed over at my parents house, breaking up our drive back from the nation's capital, I passed out. Clear passed out in bed at 9 p.m. I haven't slept that hard in recent memory.

So I'm rested. And I've been to a cooking class with M, Mike and Dawn and got a snazzy new hairdryer that makes my hair even that much more awesome. Like you even thought that was possible. ;)

Work is just too insane for mere words, but I've decided to balance the intensity of work with intensity in life. Whatever speed life wants to come at me, I'm ready.

Today's sing-a-long song: "I'm no good" by Amy Winehouse

HRH

Pushing my luck

It seems I'm doing that fixating thing again. This time it's the new Rihanna song "Umbrella." I hadn't noticed that I've been listening to it non-stop until the video came on TV and M said we'd heard way too much of that song in the last four days and changed the channel. I couldn't bring myself to protest as it would require admitting that I wanted to watch the video to admire Rihanna's new hipster haircut.

Other than overplaying a new song, the long weekend was very full. WE had a lovely dinner with Graeme and Elisabeth on Friday (check out Graeme's blog as it is brimming with nifty) and learned that there are few people in the world who can actually eat a steak almost the size of their own head. I planted my patio garden on Saturday with Gerber Daisies, Dahlias, Wave Petunias and peppers galore. I am pretty much ready train Zeus to kill squirrels now as all the bird feeder traffic is making the containers all to tempting. I also made a screen for the kitchen window and we had the gang over for some lamb goodness.

Saturday was extra fun when M mistook his finger for an onion resulting in some extreme makeover: finger edition. He just took a little off the top of his left index finger, and it's healing nicely, but it was still kind of freaky. I'm not allowed to talk about what the removed bit of fingertip looks like cause it makes people queasy. I can only say I found it fascinating and maybe I should stop watching CSI.

Sunday was far less dramatic. I worked out at my new gym (lovely treadmills) and finally made it to see Hot Fuzz and laughed myself silly. Excellently good times.

Today was more sedate. Laundry, bird watching (I saw an Indigo Bunting and caught a glimpse of a Baltimore Oriole... and holy crap when did I start to find this stuff interesting?) and naps. Many naps. I'm capping off the holiday weekend with the 24 and Heroes finales tonight.

The only thing that would make this weekend more perfect would be if it was somehow extended for just another day, oh and if M had that little bit of his fingertip back.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Umbrella" by Rihanna & Jay Z

HRH

Holiday wrap

I suppose my appearance back at work today means that the holiday season is drawing to a close. It started with some sadness for me this year as I was down about M and I being apart for Christmas. On the train to Kingston, while the cold that often takes over my body as soon as I let it relax took over, I resolved to make the best of my holiday, even though I would be apart from my husband for three days of it. And I was doing pretty decently, though I missed him terribly, and I was rewarded for my positive spirits by yet another holiday surprise from my man.

Mid-afternoon on Christmas day I was coming inside after taking Zeus outside for a walk and my father called me into the living room for something. I walked into the room, look at my Dad, looked at M, then looked at my Dad again and said "What?" Moments later my brain synthesized M's presence in the room and I exploded with glee. He had driven to Kingston a day early so he could be with me for Christmas dinner. And, as always, my family was in on it all. My mother even had me set the dinner table for six guests as part of the ruse. M is now wondering what he can do next year to surprise me to keep the tradition running.

The rest of the holiday was great. We spent time with friends and family, as well as some seriously quality time napping on the couch. There were a couple nights of playing Wii that resulted in a shocking amount of stiffness in the days after, but also in a tremendous amount of fun.

So while my holiday spirit arrived late, it made it in the right amount of time. The holiday season basically finished for me yesterday with the celebration of the wonderful M's 30th birthday. We will be commemorating the occasion fully on Saturday with a healthy amount of friends, drinking, gifting and karaoke singing. I'll try to refrain from making any ending the season on a high note jokes.

HRH

In search of holiday spirit

It's hard to pin down why, but I'm not feeling the holidays this year. Things started off well enough. I got the tree up, marveled at it's beauty, got the cards sent, completed all the shopping, played my holiday CDs ad nasueum, enjoyed a cup or two of coco, I even have dough waiting for me in the fridge to be transformed into sugar cookies, but I'm not feeling the usual excitement.

I know some of it is due to the green holiday we're experiencing. The snow seems to be an important player in creating holiday magic for me. Also all continual debate about Christmas trees in public places has been a real enthusiasm killer. It's not a problem I can fix, it's also not a problem I completely get. Trees are pretty. Yay.

I suppose, to be fair, one should be religious to truly have rights to weigh in on the issue. Christmas has pretty much zip to do with Christ for me. Perhaps because of that I should just let go of celebrating it. I don't know. It seems to me that the holiday has shifted from it's traditional celebration of the wee infant Jesus to a family celebration of gift giving. It just happens to fall on the same day as when Christian's celebrate the birth of their lord and saviour. (An interesting reversal of how the Christians subsumed the pagan holidays that traditionally happened around the winter solstice).

What I love about Christmas is all the lights. How we respond to the growing darkness by covering our homes and buildings with beautiful colours. Winter is really dreary and holiday decorations help in concealing that for a little while as we ease into the cold. When I see a Christmas tree I think "ooh that's pretty!" not "Go Christianity!" The occasion has evolved way beyond that for me.

Anyway, I digress. This year Christmas seems to be depressing me. As it gets closer each day I feel lower and lower. In a lot of ways, it feels like it's already over and I don't entirely understand why.

But I don't want to bring other people down around the holidays, so this will be the last I speak of it. More often that not, you can brighten your mood just by acting like you really feel that way. If I keep smiling on the outside, the inside should catch up in good time.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" as performed by Crystal Gale on the Sesame Street Christmas special way back in the '80s

HRH

Finely filtered

Geez! We're well into December and I'm just getting around to the first blog of the month now. Something is truly amiss. I don't know why, but I haven't had a lot to say for awhile. Blog posts occur to me only when I am as far away from my computer as time and space allows. It would be really lame to have this fizzle out when I'm a mere six months away from this blog being a whole five years old.

I suppose because I've been at this for some time, I'm less inclined to just blather about all the things I've blathered about before. I suppose I could talk about all the cooking I've been into of late, or how I find it perpetually annoying that hand lotion bottles always develop a crust around the spout and I invariably cover myself in hand cream when I try to use force to get it out of the way. I mean, isn't that just the most fascinating thing EVER.

Indeed, I could regale the public about my latent fears of pregnancy and home ownership (though both seem to be ultimately positive and inevitable things), my growing problem with buying clothing at Lululemon, how I'm trying to learn all the choreography to the Thriller video, about my recent experiments (and total failure) in do it yourself home hair glossing, how totally fucking gorgeous the Christmas tree is this year and how I could actually send out the wedding thank you cards if my husband would just finally print the darn labels.

Stuff is going on. I'm good. We should really get together for tea sometime. I'm finding the Chelsea show is better in person these days than online.

Today's sing-a-long song: "I don't feel like dancing" by the Scissor Sisters

Strange holiday memory

I'm at the Eaton Centre today getting another step closer to having all the Christmas shopping done (booya!) and every store is just oozing Christmas music. I don't deny it's holiday spirit raising power. Ever since I left music retail, I have been able to enjoy holiday music again, since I wasn't forced to listen to it to the point where I had hysterical deafness.

Anyway, I'm in Sears and the song All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth comes on, no doubt sung by a performer who is humorously adept at sounding toothless. For a moment I was amused by it and then suddenly I was overcome by a memory.

I was five, maybe six or seven years old and it was Christmastime. As was usual then in my life, I was in a choir and we were preparing a holiday revue of some kind. It was definitely the primary grades. I know this because it was that time when everyone was loosing their baby teeth. Everyone but me, who is dentally retarded.

When I was younger I had a pretty nice singing voice. I was always in the choir, always just shy of the solos (sigh), always in music. I had some talent and my parents and school provided me with a good amount of training. By the age of nine, I could belt out New York, New York like it was nobody's business, but I digress.

There was but one opportunity for a solo in that particular year's all-singing, all-adorable, all-dressed-in-festive-sweaters holiday review. There would be but one child that would have the chance to get up and sing and that song was going to be All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

I wanted that solo and I wanted it bad. But it would not go to me. Instead it would be the defining moment in my vocal career, where I would passed over again and again for solos. Sometimes for kids who were better, sometimes for kids who were cuter or simply for kids who were blonder. This time I was for a dirty blond boy, who was the ONE kid in the class who had managed to actually lose his front teeth in time for Christmas. I don't even remember his name. I remember his hair, I remember he really couldn't sing and I remember staring at him with all the hate in my little heart as he bumbled his way through the song.

Here I am, 30 years old; an adult and I'm overcome with a hot flash of injustice. Sure the kid got the holiday solo for having the prop to go with the song, but I SO would have rocked that song. Sure I had pretty much all my teeth but isn't that usually a GOOD thing?

Oh I so need to let go. I bet he was more embarrassed than happy about having to get up and sing with his teeth like that. And I suppose I've learned over the years that when people don't give you an opportunity to make an ass of yourself in public you just have to get creative and find your own way to do it.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Christmas Is" by Lou Rawls

HRH

Shocked they even let me play

Because the collective lives of my very close friends (and bridal party: imagine that) seem to be coming more jet set by the year it was going to be challenging to get us all in one place to do the annual secret Santa draw, so Mike geniusly found an online Secret Santa manager, meaning that holiday shopping would not be hampered by the current physical distances between us.

So today we got our e-mails that it was on, and like some kind of primordial on/off switch I went from fairly sane person, to totally obsessed with trying to find out who has who in the draw. I'm not good with mysteries, secrets or surprises. I just HAVE to know. Last year I got, maybe a tad, obsessed with trying to find it all out. And I know that it doesn't matter in any way. It doesn't affect the time and thought we put into the gifts we get each other or the joy we share in opening them together. No bearing whatsoever, yet here I am. All twitchy and curious.

And I told myself I wasn't going to be all insane about it this year and it's been, like, 10 minutes and I'm already pestering people:

herhighnessness: Is that who you have???
feelafel: not telling
herhighnessness: I just thought since you brought it up...
feelafel: just stop
herhighnessness: But that would be a rookie mistake.
feelafel: :)
feelafel: unless, of course, I knew you'd think it was a rookie mistake
feelafel: and thus double blinded on purpose!

I should really just chill out and start shopping already.

HRH

Best Prom-posal Ever

I was already on my way to having had a wonderful holiday. My time spent in Kingston was filled with the pleasant company of my family, eventual peace amongst five cats and many days spent watching movies in front of my father's new 52 inch plasma TV. If I didn't want a TiVo before... My goodness do I want one now. But I digress.

The big news from the break happened when M and I took a much needed vacation to New York City. M suggested this trip back in November. Thanks to the generosity of friends and family we were able to fly down on frequent flyer miles, stay in a lovely hotel for almost nothing and live a little beyond our present means without all the pesky guilt and regret. For a long time I'd thought that this was just another bit of proof that we have the most amazing friends and family in the world (and we do) but it turned out that there was a hidden agenda.

I'd decided to let go my obsessive-compulsive self and let M organize the trip. He knows NYC much better than I do, the trip was his idea and I actually found myself enjoying the idea of just packing a bag, showing up and letting someone else worry about the details. Turns out it was the best plan.

We got to New York on Wednesday afternoon. M suggested that we head down to the village. It was a beautiful day, mild and sunny. We made our way Washington Square Park, a place near and dear to our hearts as I think we've watched When Harry Met Sally about a zillion times together. The last time we'd been there the triumphal arch was under reconstruction so I'd never seen it in all it's glory. It was really beautiful. The afternoon sun cast a warm glow over the park. I was really happy and relaxed.

M walked me over to the side of the arch and stopped. He turned to me and said "Now I can tell you the real reason why we're here. It's time for you to stop being my girlfriend," as he got down on one knee and pulled out a small wooden box.

Clone High fans will appreciate that as M asked me to marry him he said "I know this isn't a fancy prom-posal, but will you marry me?" I responded, through tears of joy, with "Yes! This is the best prom-posal ever!"

I remember feeling so many good emotions at the same time that a part of my brain must have broken. A lot of it is one big happy blur. I know it took me a day or so before I could really remember everything that happened. Even still I find I remember that I am engaged to marry someone so perfect for me and I get this big silly smile on my face.

I think that M and I were hugging and crying tears of joy for a long time before I even remembered to look at what was in the small wooden box. What was in it was too awesome for words. A sapphire the colour of the sky on a perfect day set in white gold. So blue and sparkly. And like that I was engaged to marry my best friend in the world.

And that was just the start of the most perfect 4 days. After a quiet late lunch and sending out a volley of text messages to let everyone in on the plan (read: almost everyone I know) know that it had gone well we went to see the hilarious Star Wars one-man show off Broadway. What better way to top off a day of great emotions with 90 minutes of laughter.

The next day involved walks through beautiful New York City in the rain, a serendipitous viewing of an exhibition of a collection of works of art from the time of Bohemian kings Karel IV, Vaclav IV and Sigismund at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, walks through the east side of Central Park and the Central Park Zoo (had to get a zoo in there to make it perfect for M). That night we enjoyed some delicious sushi and followed by ice skating at Bryant Park under the NYC lights.

Yesterday started with shopping at Sak's Fifth Avenue, something I have longed to do for more than half my life, and yes, it lived up to my expectations. Then we met up with some family friends for lunch on the upper west side and experienced the first re-telling of our engagement. After that it was a walk down the west side of Central Park, a little more shopping on 5th Avenue, topped off by dinner at a great restaurant in the village called Po.

We're home now. Happy and exhausted. I'm engaged and I feel no fear or anxiety about it. Just the overwhelming knowledge that this is the right thing and so much excitement about being able to plan a fun celebration of my relationship with M. I also feel so honoured to be with someone so thoughtful and wonderful that would put together a proposal and trip like this.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Aint That A Kick In The Head" by Dean Martin

HRH

Holiday time

Merry Chirstmas everyone. I hope you woke up to all kinds of loot and love this morning. I know I did.

It's been a pretty eventful holiday for people I know. Carly is engaged and M will be becoming a step-uncle this year. Everyone is growing up so quickly, and I'm here at home feeling like I'm eternally going to be the baby of my family. Of course, being the baby of the family isn't such a bad gig. ;)

Merry Chirstmas everyone.

HRH

Best part done?

How exactly did it get to be December 21st? Christmas shopping done, gift exchanges begun, not much left to plan or organize. Is it sick that having that done makes me sad?

Today's sing-a-long song: "Christmas is" by Lou Rawls

HRH

It begins

I held off this long. Here's a teaser of what's to come:



Today's sing-a-long song: "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow" by Dean Martin

HRH