Irregardless

C: Someone is trying to convience me that twelve noon, while grammatically incorrect is proper for a formal wedding invitation. Their reasoning is that old people won't understand what noon means.
M: Charming.
M: OK, just to play devil's advocate, why is it grammatically incorrect. You're not using twelve to explain noon, but noon to explain twelve. There are two twelves, so twelve noon differentiates it from twelve midnight. Don't think of twelve as the modifier; think of noon as the modifier/qualifier.
C: But midnight means 12 a.m. exactly and noon means 12 p.m. exactly, so why be redundant? It's like saying Tuna Fish. Find me a tuna that isn't a fish.
M: OK, but the structure isn't exactly parallel. Replace tuna with noon and twelve with fish.
C:Sure. You can have a fish that isn't a tuna. But you can't have a tuna that's not a fish. So why say fish? Just like you can't have a noon that's not exactly at 12 p.m.
M: Just because noon comes after twelve doesn't mean it can't be the word modifying twelve.
C: Do you honestly think that it's correct?
M: I think it's not the worst thing in the world if it has to be that way. I think it has a nice poetic ring to it. It's familiar and pleasant. It's for a wedding so you can do whatever you want. That's the beauty.
C: It's like I don't even know who you are anymore...
M: You could say "twelve noon, right on the dot, when the sun is highest in the summer sky." It's not a piece of business communication. It's an invitation, a chance to show people your personality. Noon is fine. So is 12 p.m. or 12:00 p.m. But if you want to write "twelve hours after twelve midnight," I might be annoyed, but it's not my wedding.
C: What's next? You'll start endorsing serial commas?
M: Woahwoahwoahletsnotgetcarriedaway.
C: Honestly, my world is shaken to it's core.
M: Sorry, baby. There are times to be 100% grammatical and times when it's good to take some license.
C: I don't understand this grey area you speak of.
M: I know, it's a scary place. Here there be monsters.
C: I am genuninely troubled. There are some things you just come to count on in life.
M: Death? Taxes? My pedantry?
C: Yes. And the last one... where did it go?
M: It's still here. Don't worry.
C: But it was so absolute and unyeilding.
M: I'm not saying people should start punctuating incorrectly or not capitalizing to begin sentences. But they should be able to use more familiar language, as long as it's spelled correctly. And even then, if you're some crazy hick, your wedding invitation should reflect that. You should know what to expect from the wedding from the look, feel and tone of the invite.
C: Here I thought you would become more grammatically conservative as you age.
M: Oh, don't worry, I'll have my moments. I just don't see twelve noon as a question of grammar. It's a question of usage.
M: It's not like they wanted to say irregardless.