Stila: Shadow Pot in Petal

Yes, I bought yet another purple eye shadow. I cannot be stopped.

HRH

Oohh, I need a hug

Last night "Becoming, part 2" was on Razer. It is the singular episode of Buffy that makes me weep heavily and openly every time I see it. You'd think that eight years after it aired I would have developed some kind of emotional resistance to it, but no. From the moment Angel has his soul restored to the moment "Full of Grace" starts I'm a mess.

And like any good Buffy episode it spurred on a nice little debate about Xander's decision not to tell Buffy that Willow was attempting to restore Angel's soul. I've been having this debate for eight years and like any Whedon-created conundrum it's never an easy answer, and I'm not going to get into that debate (because I always take the side of Buffy and Angel over the side of all things Xander or Spike, and no amount of reasoning will ever get me to sway... Stubborn like a goat I am), but only pass on that it did result in me shunning M's comfort as I began my weeping, stating "Don't touch me. You sided with Xander."

Today's sing-a-long song: "Wild Horses" by The Sundays

HRH

Prescriptives Foundation

What's an orange-yellow girl to do?

My dear friend and fellow beauty junkie Tyla gave me a fantastic wedding shower present. A gift certificate with a purpose. That purpose being to get my tail over to Prescriptives to have custom foundation made. I'm pale, but unlike most pale girls I'm yellow. Not pink. Not red. When I exercise I get whiter. I don't blush. So most foundations look really strange on me. So much so that I hardly even use them.

But this process where they find the perfect match and make it for you. Fantastic and worth every penny (of Tyla's :-)). I used the foundation on my wedding day I love it so much. It's my skin colour but perfected.

If you're looking to treat yourself and you want it to be an enduring purchase, go get this done. Have a custom-made lipgloss done while you're at it. Why have what the masses get when personalization is so simple.

HRH

Promising indications

I spent the first three-and-a-half hours of being thirty in a kareoke bar singing my heart out with some of my best friends. Prospects for the rest of the decade are looking good.

HRH

Stila: Eye shadow tri in Forest Clove

About a month ago I was walking past Holt Renfrew and saw that my beloved Stila had a new palette in stock. As per usual I walked in and asked which palette would look best on me. The artist sized up my colouring and swiftly coloured me with Forest Clove. The palette is green tones. Not something I would immediately be drawn to, but a photo in the Sephora Fall 2005 catalouge completely made me fall for earthy green shadow and bronzy blush.

Forest clove turned out to be a lovely palette for fall. It's still available in stores, so if you're looking for something to give you an earthy, yet smoky eye, I suggest you check it out.

HRH

What Kari's would have been husband is up to

Just cause you're having house issues K, I'm feel compelled to direct you to White & Nerdy. Only Al can make a sucky song not suck.

HRH

Black Sunday Approacheth

So here's my plan. I'm turning 30 on Sunday (boo) and I'm not altogether pleased about it. I've really enjoyed my twenties. They've been very much of the awesome. From age 22 on, things have just kept getting better and better. And I'm not ruling out the possibility that my thirties will continue on that curve, I just have trepidation.

With 30 comes expectations. My excuse of "well, I'm pretty young for that" is going to start seeming really silly when all the pressure to buy a house and start a family gets started (ha, gets started... Like it hasn't already). Honestly, I'm not sure which terrifies me more; Owning and being responsible for a home or spawning and being responsible for a rug rat. Both leave me paralyzed and fighting the urge to pack up my husband and cat so we can all try outrunning the sun together.

I'm doing really well for 29. I have a good and generally stimulating job at a respected place, I've traveled around the world a touch, I have my youthful looks and I generally come across as pretty confident and with it. I am still kind of young and hip. Once I turn the corner for 30, I'm less impressive. How can I be 30 years old and not own my own home? When I see children I hear no ticking clock, but instead feel a powerful urge to flee (cause like dogs, kids can smell fear). That's not very on top of things for 30.

And I can't even begin to tell you how much it saddens me that very soon I will be one of those people that teenagers mock for not being able to act/dress their age. I try on some of the clothes out there and I look at myself in the mirror and think "who exactly are you kidding?" I have no tolerance for drink and hangovers affect me for days. I already can't handle rock shows and a lot of the new music out there kind of sounds like crap to me. It's terrible.

It's like that situation when I was a kid where when Kingston finally got a MacDonald's play park I was too tall to play in it and could only watch the other kids have fun through the window.

I'm not sure why I allow myself to be so cliché and use these kinds of milestones to apply a self-inflicted mental beat-down, but here we are. I just feel like Sunday morning there will be a mini-van out front waiting to take me to some suburban hell with screaming children jacked up on sugar, a track suit and a house with a room we don't use unless company is coming over. I can hear the banana clip clicking into place on my head like a prison door slamming shut.

Rage. Rage against the dying of the light!

So my plan for this weekend is to have as much fun as I can so that I don't even noticed that I've crossed the threshold into the decade of expectations. On tap there is a dance class with Dawn & Tash, a massage at a fancy-smancy spa, dinner with friends, the promise of pancakes (though I fear M will try to do the unthinkable and put things other than pancake in my pancakes, like fruit...) and maybe some zen time in the park, weather permitting.

I'm going to try to let the weekend pass with some dignity and try to remember that the only expectations that truly matter are my own. And I fully expect to 30 to keep on track with the positive curve of my life.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects

HRH

MAC Lip Glass La La Libertine

The perfect pink lip gloss. Looks amazing on all who touch it. I loved it so much that I bought one for each of my bridesmaids. Go get some already. It's a limited edition!

HRH

MAC Brush off

Sorry for the extended hiatus. Wedding planning was a boatload of fun, but consumed a lot more mental energy than I would have predicted. Anyway, back to products.

I've made a couple of recent purchases that have been pleasant additions to my kit. I got my hands on two new brushes. You really can't have enough brushes. Learning to use brushes properly is the key difference between makeup that looks like you don't wear it very often but you're trying it for fun and makeup that does what it should; amplify your beauty.

Being the eyeliner addict that I am, the procurment of MAC's 266 small angled brush has brought me to untold levels of glee. This brush will be your best friend this fall if you're trying to recreate any of the heavy-lidded Mod looks of the season. When using it be sure to wipe of an excess on the sides of the brush and keep the colour focused on the angled tip, then pull your lid to the side to make your eyelid as smooth as possible. This will help you control the line much better. It takes some practice, but once you've mastered it, there's nothing quite as sexy.

The other brush I've added to my collection is MAC's 150 large powder brush. Becuase this brush is about $50 it was always fell to the bottom of my beauty wish list. Now that I have it, I'm sorry that I'd put off buying it for so long. I'd forgotten about the polish that dusting your face with loose podwer gives you.

Of course now that I have new brushes, I only want more. There are some great brushes out there by Stila and, should I win the lotto, I'm heading straight to Shu Umera in NYC to buy a completely new set.

Still on my brush list are (all MAC):

• Short powerder/blush brush 129 (for travel)


• Small angled contour brush 162


• Buffer brush 182


• Square shader brush 259


• Medium angled shading brush 275

HRH

Idleness is the beginning of all vices

I had a small post-wedding crash on Wednesday of this week. It was small and easily rebounded by looking a photos and spending some time with my husband (he!), but a crash none the less. I really understand why people take off on their honeymoon immediately after their weddings. It prolongs the buzz and you get to just enjoy eachother, rather than sitting at work feeling bitter about being at work.

Of course by going on our honeymoon in October, we're stretching out the wedding-related joy just a little bit longer. Which is all good in my books as the wedding turned out to be more fun that I'd even imagined it could be.

But what to do with myself now. Planning a wedding in eight months was like a super-fun part-time job. While there are still some things to get done (thank you cards, printing photos, etc), it's nothing in comparison to the pre-wedding ramp up. I can honestly say that I truly enjoyed planning the wedding. Yes there were moments of stress, some sleepless nights and tears a few times, but as a friend pointed out to me, even if you're upset or fighting about your wedding, it's still awesome because you're upset or fighting about your wedding.

So I have a sudden increase in my free time and rather then allow myself to completely crash I'm opting for a proactive approach. I started writing in one of the notebooks we gave away as favours and made a list of all the activities I've consistently enjoyed, in no particular order:

Music, Makeup, Flying, Dance, Painting, Organizing things, Scuba Diving, Shopping, Fashion, Photography, Art history, Film, Cake/dessert decorating

Then I came up with something I can do in the next few months to keep me active in those interests. Things like finally taking my double bass in to be refurbished so I can get back to playing, taking more dance classes, carrying a camera with me more often, visiting the museums and galleries in Toronto (they're sometimes free on Fridays), attending from drawing classes and maybe a cake decorating class.

Ideally I'll get going on at least one of these things, otherwise it will be boredom and introspection and it's not pretty when I go there.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Ready to go" by Republica

HRH

Alas for Toby

Another season of Rockstar has finished. I was honestly rooting for Toby by the end of it. I thought he might actually fit or at least be something I'd be interested in watching if he were the lead singer of Supernova. But with Lukas winning, I can whole-heartedly push the "super group" aside and pay them no mind.

I'm not really a fan of the band. With Rockstar: INXS, I actually liked INXS back in the day. Liked them quite a lot, so I had an interest in how the band found it's new frontman. But I've never really been into Motley Crue, Metallica or Guns & Roses beyond the songs you might hear on the radio. And when Supernova would play their originals, I was bored. They paled in comparison with the covers, whereas I actually bought "Pretty Vegas" on itunes I found it so catchy.

So there came a point in the show where I realized that I wasn't actually cheering for the contestants to become the frontman of the band, but hoping that they could get heaps of exposure and then be freed to make their own music. Case in point Ryan and Storm. I really liked them as performers, but I didn't want to see them stuck playing with a bunch of old men, so I was almost happy for them when they were sent away.

Toby I found interesting, kind of like how I found Daniel Feldspar: The Stereotypically Australian Dragon interesting. Toby was a whole lot of fun and I think he would have been entertaining live. He didn't take himself super seriously, while a lot of the people on the show were so into themselves and neurotic that it made me want to slap the television. Once he was eliminated this evening, I went back to doing the laundry.

I suppose it's interesting in a "hey patterns are neat" kind of way that both of the Rockstar winners have been Canadians and that's about where the interesting ends.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Sour Times" by Portishead

HRH

The first bits of evidence

Many thanks to John R for providing the first photos and to my Dad for walking me down the aisle so well!

Update: Alasdair has also posted a series of great photos from the wedding if you're so inclined to have a look at them.

HRH

Could we stay right here until the end of time

Today's the day, and even though it's raining and thundering right now, it should make for a great afternoon when it clears.

I'm pretty relaxed, believe it or not. Really happy and very excited. It's going to be a fantastic day.



Today's sing-a-long song: "Gorecki" by Lamb

HRH

The last days of Chelsea Gay

Last week when M and I were creating the placecards for the reception he asked me "So what name do I put down for you?" For some reason I freaked out a bit and asked him to put down my maiden name. He looked at me kind of funny and all I could say was "Just for now. I just.. just my maiden name for now."

Changing my name has been something I've thought about for years. My name has not been without it's challenges. Some have said that it's a very pretty name, though most have reacted to it with the typical stream of tired jokes. I really won't be missing those at all and I'll enjoy that people may have to work a little harder to find something to instantly mock about me. Not much harder, but a least it may inspire some variety in the barbs.

Reactions to the news that I'm changing my name have been mixed. My family has been very supportive of my wishes, which was really key. Some people have reacted with total shock and indignance, which I find puzzling. Wasn't the whole equal rights thing about giving people the choice to do what they want without being maligned for it? If you want to keep your name, awesome, if you want to change your name, awesome too. What's important is that it's your choice.

Philosophically I've been ready to do this for a long time. I really love the idea of sharing a name with M and it's a totally awesome name, so I'm trading up. I thought I was totally ready for the change but my reaction last week threw me for a bit of a loop.

Suddenly it was very real. It wasn't me sitting in a meeting, bored out of my mind, practicing my new signature (oh how I mourn the loss of my wonderful cursive "g" and "y"), it was that in a matter of days my name was going to change. I was troubled about it until I spoke with a friend who is getting married two weeks after I am, who is also changing her name. She had exactly the same reaction when creating her place cards and for some reason, I felt better and like it was a normal reaction.

A name is just a name. My ego is not so delicate that I derive my personal strength from my name. Sure, there's a great deal of sentiment (both positive and negative) associated with it, but it's just a name. Who I am won't be changing, just the way people address me will be.

The actual process of assuming M's last name will take me months. There are many documents to wait for from the government and then many offices to visit to get new ID. But on Saturday it all begins. The last day of Chelsea Gay.

So while I make my last preparations for the wedding and becoming Chelsea Novak (and putting Chelsea Novak on my reception place card), if you're so inclined, please leave your favourite joke about my maiden name. You've got just about 56 hours to get them all in.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Keep It Gay" from The Producers

HRH