Full Board!!!

Thank the maker(s of Advil)!

Yesterday the gang got together to help Chris and Tash install their new floor and while the experience was pretty fun as floor istallations go (meaning it wasn't MY floor, so I wasn't super stressed) it was also educational.

Some of the things I learned include:

• Unless you live in a room that looks exactly like the room pictured in the instructions, odds are it's not going to be as easy as the instructions suggest.


• Group work is always more fun when you can shout obscure statements like "TAPPER!" and "FULL BOARD!" at each other with unbridled glee


• If you have the option of having a professional install your floor, for heaven's sake, DO IT


• Only really mature people can get through an installation like that with floor boards that have male and female parts without continually cracking up


• Dominion makes some lovely salads


• "You don't want to fuck with Shady. Cause Shady will fucking kill you." - Eminem

Really, we're all better people for knowing this.

HRH

L'Occitane: Tinted Lip Balm

So there I was, my last night in New York City, about to go out for a lovely dinner at a bistro in the village to celebrate my engagement. I've taken great pains to choose the right outfit, do my hair nicely, look completely the part of the "right choice" and on the subway ride there I realize that in my excitment I'd forgotten to apply blush.

I was wearing black, so there was no hope of getting any help from my clothes. Indeed I thought I was destined to look like I was revisiting my teenage goth days, but there was a saviour in my purse. My L'Occitane Tinted Lip Balm in Blackberry.

A couple of dabs on my cheeks and I had a nice little glow going on. Not only did it save the day, but it also makes for a really nice lip blam too.

HRH

So I can get my satisfaction

Today was a really good day for checking off boxes on my to do list. I love checking items off lists so much that I run the risk of becoming one of those OCD people who can't actually use the washroom unless it's on the list of things to do for the day. But maybe that's enough sharing.

I was able to check off seven to-dos from the Martha Stewart wedding list today. It's a good list that asks enough questions for me to elaborate on, but isn't a large and scary book covered with images of soft focus flowers. Anyway, today's work leaves us a mere five items to complete in the next two months. Dress choice, officiant, florist, photographer and a decision (or even a notion) about music for the ceremony (We've got the reception music sussed).

Of course this doesn't mean that I haven't been over-achieving about to-do items in other sections of the list. I MAY have already downloaded and completed the forms for the wedding license, maybe. I MAY have already started collecting information on assuming M's last name, maybe. I MAY have started bidding on a key mystery item for the reception on ebay, maybe.

So with all that in the works, I can relax some. Maybe read a book, bake cookies, rescue some orphans from a burning schoolhouse, continue work on my world-domination plot, nap... you know, back to normal.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Satisfaction" by Benny Bernassi & The Biz

HRH

Pout: Eye duo (Miss September & Miss Scotland), Shiseido Bronze Flash

There was this page in the fall Sephora Czarina catalogue of a redhead done up with green eyeshadow and bronze blush that I became just a little obsessed with. Just look at it. Stunning.

It took me some time but I was able to assemble the colour components of this stunning look. Not to be hindered by the fact that I'm really not a green-eyed redhead, I made it a misson to get my hands on Pout's Eye Duo in Miss Scotland (and a packet of the duo in Miss September because it's my birth month and actually the right colour for brown eyes). Sure, it would look better on someone with green eyes, but it doesn't look bad on me. That's the cool thing about colour. Done right you can break out of your prescribed colour modes and have some fun.

The Bronze Flash from Shiseido (the company's name that I can NEVER, EVER pronouce without sounding like a hick) has become a staple of my makeup bag. Breaking out of my pink mold has been a slow and sometimes painful process. Bronze was something I never thought I would be happy with, yet this stick just gives me a wonderful glow.

HRH

Um, so, yeah...

I'm trying not let this descend into a wedding blog. I know this is about me and my life, but for some reason I feel this pang of guilt every time I'm about to type a post relating to the pending nuptials. I spent more time than I'm going to admit wanting to crawl through my screen to strangle the joy out of people who blogged about their weddings and here I am, and I understand why they did it and why I do it, but part of me really wants to be sure that I don't inspire that choking-lust in the readership.

It's hard to temper the joy and not cross the line into jackassery. I'm happier than I thought something like this would make me and largely unprepared for that.

Anyway, this situation leaves me with little to report otherwise as wedding planning is the bulk of what I'm up in my life. I'm having a lot of fun with it. Planning a party for the people I love is kind of like the event planner's dream. As such, I think you're all going to have to bear with me for the next 36 weeks. However, I'll be sure to wear a turtleneck with a small neck just to keep me in line.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Always on my mind" by The Pet Shop Boys

HRH

This is getting out of hand

Remember that New York Times article I was interviewed for last year? I thought that it ran and no one outside of my friends and family took much notice of it. Turns out that Gawker, the source for daily Manhattan media news and gossip, seriously doubted wether or not I actually exsist. I mean, I know I exsist. I'm right here.

Anyway, in the interest of clearing my name as it were and saving poor Park Slope Dyke from being hassled, I wrote them this little note:

Dear Gawker,

Friends just brought this Gawker article from December to my attention, and wow was it ever a laugh. I assure you I am completely real and that Chelsea Gay is very much my real name. It's a tad unfortunate, but totally real.

I've been aware of the beyond amusing fact of what my name would mean to a New Yorker for some time. To be fair, I get mocked pretty consistently for it up here in Toronto. For years I have battled things like The Chelsea Gay Association for the first hit when Googling my name. Let's not even talk about grade school.

Anyway, mystery solved. And now, with the existence of Park Slope Dyke, I have comfort in the knowledge that my name really could be worse.

Best,
Chelsea Gay
www.herhighnessness.com

Today's sing-a-long song: "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child

HRH

Pseudo-famous blogger?

"This is going to seem like a really weird question, but do you write a blog?"

Totally not what I was expecting to be asked by the girl behind the counter at the grocery store.

"I recognized you and then I saw him," she said indicating towards M. "You two just got engaged right?"

Thanks to the very kind Asha, I now know that more than just my Mum and friends read this blog. Very cool and just a little strange. Mostly I feel a little silly for having gone through most of the grocery store with M trading lines from Surrey With The Fringe On Top, especially since I was doing my lines with actions.

Today's sing-a-long song: "One Hit Wonder" by Everclear

HRH

And then they're on the beach

Okay. Okay. I'm trying to wrap my head around this one. It appears to be hidden camera footage of Brooke Burke and the creepy Burger King guy. But, but... Why?

I would love to have been a fly on the wall for that client pitch. Did someone along the way ask the question "What the hell does this have to do with selling hamburgers?" cause there's no way that Brooke Burke eats, let along eats Burger King.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Things that make you go hmmmm" by C+C Music Factory

HRH

At least you can laugh at it

Thank goodness for Rick Mercer. I've always had a soft spot him and the charming way he says the word "car." This week I love him just a little more.

When it comes to mocking Canadian elected officials he's fantastic and on last night's Mercer Report he was particularly on his game. If you'd like a good chuckle I suggest you head over to the Mercer Report Web site and have a look at some of this week's video clips. I heartily suggest that you watch the piece on the youth vote and Rick's rant for January 17th and please, please, please be sure to click on the Liberal icon and have a look at his wonderful spoof attack ad. In a shed indeed.

HRH

Welcome back Bauer

A summary of me watching the premiere of 24 last night:

"Oh my god!"
"Yay!"
"Nooooooo!"
"No way!"
"You chinless jackass!!"
"Run you fools!"
"Don't do that!"
"That's our Jack."
"Oh that's not good."
"Use your phone you idiot!"
"Oooh so he's the bad guy."

Oh it's so good to have this show back.

HRH

Sitting like adults do

Yesterday seemed like it would be a somewhat normal day. M and I had some venues to check out for the wedding, my parents stopped by on their way off to sunnier shores, M and I spent an obscene amount of time at an HMV... Everything pretty much normal.

Save a very serendipitous series of things. M's step-brother and his wife gave us a Pottery Barn gift certificate as an engagement present and we suddenly found ourselves with a block of time to kill before meeting friends for dinner. We stopped by the Bloor Street Pottery Barn on a lark, hoping to pick up a nice set of cheese knives or something like that. We walk in the front door of the store and there on sale are floor models of a lovely couch, chair and ottoman. Like obscenely on sale.

We've been looking for a new couch for some time and it looked like we were never going to find something that was the right style, size or price. And then poof! there it was. Really lovely pieces in a nice neutral shade, so discounted that after tax all three pieces cost less than one piece at regular price. Kick ass. Sure there is a bit of damage to them, but they're in really good condition.

Even better they wanted them gone as soon as possible, so we had them delivered by the city's most amazing mover this morning who expertly removed doors, frames and other impediments to get it all upstairs to our apartment. Out old couches were taken to a shelter for battered women, as they're still in pretty decent shape.

So here we are with our first couch and chair set that isn't a hand-me-down from family. Not that getting hand-me-downs from family didn't save our seating skin for a long time, but this is a nice step in the whole growing up/adulthood/independent thing. Every time we walk into the living room now we both emit a sound of joy (M's being a satisfied "mmmm" and me a squeal of joy).

Today's sing-a-long song: "Part of the Furniture" by Catatonia

HRH

Dior: DiorShow Mascara

The quest for the best mascara continues. I've been using DiorShow mascara for a few weeks now, trying to see if it holds a candle to the present mascara champion Lancome HYPNÔSE mascara. DiorShow claims to only need one applciation stroke to create dramatic lashes.

And I have to report that it does a decent job. There's length, but not a remarkable amount of volume. I personally am looking for volume over length, but if you're the kind of girl we all love to hate, the kind with superfull lashes, then this mascara will work fantastically for you.

Wow I found it!

Who would have thought it would be so easy finding the perfect wedding dress... if I was walking down the isle to November Rain and secretly plotting my own death.

Sweet lucifer there's a lot of crap out there. Still I am confident that I will prevail.

HRH

L'Occitane: Lavender Harvest Hand Creme

It's winter time. While this winter has been milder than most, there's still a lot of dry heated air out there that can suck much needed moisture from your hands. We all know that dry hands can lead to a lot of discomfort and in extreme cases cracking and bleeding. And that's not fun.

Which is why it's smart to head out and get a small tube of moisturizer to carry around in your bag. While you're at it, get a nice hand cream with a soothing scent like lavender. It soothes and leaves you with a nice light scent. Moisturized hands and a scent that soothes you and those around you as you all work your way through the frazzling and depressing days of January.

MAC: Lip Brush

While I live on the lip gloss side of the street most of the time and am a confessed lazy lip laquerer I have finally done the right thing and gotten myself a lip brush. I've been wearing makeup for a long, long time, I've learned lots, but I wish that I'd learned of this brush sooner. It's soft, it's easy compacted and covered for travel and it makes the lips look oh so luscious. Oh so.

Further prooving to me that no brush is a bad idea.

HRH

The circus keeps rolling on

After much research and thoughtful examination of all the major political parties running I can now stand up and make my statement about the the pending federal election:

"Ick."

Sadly that's not an option on the ballot.

HRH

Stila: Gold palette

There's no need to go into my ever lasting love of palettes. I love them, they rock and I got more for Christmas which has made me a very, very happy girl.

My most recent acquisition was the Stila Deluxe Palette in Golden Moon. I have so much makeup that's based in the cool tones that I felt it was time to explore the vast pantheon of colours in the neutrals and warm tones. To that end I decided to go for golds to warm up my pasty winter skin and soften my face.

As usual Stila has great colours (Four eye shadows in Starlight, Mahogany, New Golden Brown, and a new Bronzy Brown,a Primrose Cheek Color, a Golden Peach Lip Color, and Caramel Lip Gloss. Yay!)and great packaging (fits nicely in my makeup bag too!), and they very thoughtfully included three brushes with this palette as well (a Lip Brush, Eye Shadow Crease Brush, and an Eye Liner Brush).It's a really, really handy set for traveling too.

There's also a rose version of the palette if you're not ready to delve into the world of the warm.

HRH

Random things

As a child I used to dance around my parents living room to George Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue, all 14 minutes of it. There was an elaborate routine that I can still see in my head every time I hear the song. Classic Gershiwn was one of the first CDs we bought (after Beatles for Sale). I really am fortunate for having a family that would not only let me move furniture dance and around the house, but would also be kind enough to not insist upon watching.

Did you know that the last time I bought stationary for myself was nine years ago when I was in studying art history in Italy? It was the marble textured type of paper that they make in Venice and Florence. It was blue, green and lovely. But I haven't had to buy any since because wonderful people keep buying me stationary. And not just plain old stationary, but stationary that is completely perfect for me. Cards with stylized little fashionistas, art as make-up, cats, flowers... all lovely. I largely have Kari and Wendy to thank for this. I also have to thank them for keeping me well stocked in good reading.

A woman at the gym asked me what kind of face wash I was using and it resulted in me giving her a 10 minute skin care/cosmetics consult. A middle aged asian woman I'd never met before. Things like this happen to me a lot and I have no idea why. I suppose it appeals to my ego, that people think that I look like I know what I'm doing. I guess looking like you know what you're doing is sometimes 60 per cent of actually doing it.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Let Go" by Frou Frou

HRH

Stablize your rear deflectors

I'm really going to have to get a grip on this ridiculously happy thing. I'm running the risk of tarnishing my cool and embittered exterior. However, being this happy and excited is just so much fun. I may have to develop a new persona to sustain it all.

Life has been a lot of wedding planning in the last week. It's pretty much awesome. Event planning is one of the things that I do really well and there's nothing more fun than planning a party for the people you love. It's going to be a (pardon my language) fucking awesome good time.

But it's not without it's challenges. I'm trying to keep perspective and not get eaten alive in the vicious chompers of the wedding industry. It's a good thing I've got M around to help me keep it real, lest I come home one day insisting on useless chair covers running $200 a pop. Chair covers. Oh the stories I've heard in the past week.

When I'm drowning in a taffeta sea of the 2000 some wedding dresses I looked at online this weekend (finding one that I would even consider wearing) or when I am under attack from a fleet of tacky, flying floral stationary I just repeat in my head "Stay on target."

Today's sing-a-long song: "Come into my world (Fisherspooner Remix)" by Kylie Minogue

HRH