Me vs. Temptation: a battle of wits

I just got back from the Mall. I know I shouldn't go into the Mall, ever, but I had a list and a plan of attack. I was really good. I showed restraint, I stayed on task. I didn't even buy a snack to aid me in my shopping.

It would be easier to make it through the era of fiscal prudence by not setting foot in a glorious Mall until the era ended. It would be so much less painful to figuratively stick my head in the sand and ignore all the goods begging me to consume them. Alas, sometimes you have to engage in commerce, like when shopping for gifts.

I only faltered once, when I crossed the threshold of The Gap. There was a tricksy %40 sign calling out to me and I figured, what's the harm in looking. And it turned out that the stock they had in was so totally unappealing to me that I figured correctly. There were things that the old me would have snapped up just for the heck of it, but these days, an item of clothing has a lot of stringent criteria to meet. Which means it has to be on sale, it has to be well made, it has to have at least 3 seasons of wear in it and it has to fit perfectly. So basically I'm never buying anything ever again.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Wicked Game" by Chris Issak

HRH

N'est ce pas mal

Freedom, sweet beautiful freedom. At one point I was thinking I'd prefer the sweet release of death from the event yesterday, but I didn't have to resort to ending my life to get through the day. I'd tell more, but talking about work on your blog isn't always the best idea. The event was ripe with interesting social observations and opportunities to make grossly innapporpriate, but fairly accurate observations about other cultures.

Anyway, it's over and I'm happy it's over. Another event on the happy trail of event planning I can pass by. And good-bye to that one!

Today's sing-a-long song: "Freedom 90" by George Michael

HRH

The sum of all things

And so my birthday weekend comes to a close. It had all the makings of a classic Hollywood flim. Intrigue, panic, drama, musical numbers, more intrigue, tears, consolation, sushi, make-up, chill time, a walk by the shore and a cliffhanger ending. How I fit all of that into two days... well, even I'm impressed.

Bottom line, it was a good weekend. I spent Friday night discovering that I'm not the great singer I'd thought I was, but laughing my ass off and reveling in the love of my friends regardless. I still can't believe a) how badly I beefed "Careless Whisper" and b) how good Mike was at "My Band" by D12.

And there was this tragic event where the present that my wonderful boyfriend and friends had to contrived to get from me (via Anchorage, Memphis and Winnipeg... this is all I know of it) decided it didn't want to come to the party and took off in a cab... by itself. Kudos for it and its enterprising spirit, I suppose. However, it's still out there, having a grand ol' time, so if it, or the cab driver holding it for me, would like to turn it in at the office of his respective cab company and have that cab company call me back so that I can take possession of it, that would be pretty cool. Otherwise, we'll all give thanks to the god of insurance protection on credit cards and see if this present's twin would like to make its way to Toronto and hang out with me. 'Cause I, for one, and just dying to know what they heck this thing is.

Saturday was spent napping, consoling the gift giving strategist, cold calling cab companies and watching Return of the Jedi. M's mother and step-father took M and I out for sushi, gave me some new make-up and a shiny, sexy new stainless steel toaster and then M and I spent the rest of the night watching my newest television obsession CSI (I was away for a couple of years, I missed all of this). I'm so happy to have discovered this show and discover that it's on Spike TV, like, all the time. Yay!

Sunday M and I went down to the lakeshore for a walk. There I leaned that I am not a afraid of birds that are in the water (It's all about the baby steps) and that M can make a Swan hiss. Pretty cool. Sunday afternoon had me hanging the beautiful mirror my sister made for me and re-organizing and filing things. Really anal rententive, obsessive-compulsive type stuff. I can now report that pretty much everything is in its proper place and damn do I feel good about it.

So, I'm all 28 now and it's pretty cool. Life keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. Thanks to everyone for making this weekend and this birthday a great time. I have the best friends and undoubtedly the best boyfriend in the world. Lucky me!

Today's sing-a-long song: "More" by Bobby Darin

HRH

Chelsea Day 2004

Whoa Nelly it's going to be warm today. I actually regretting not taking today as a holiday. Mmmm a beach day at the end of September. What better way to celebrate your (or in my case, my) existence. Indeed I had loft plans for my 28th birthday. Visits to the spa, sleeping in, copious amount of cupcake batter and some dedicated sitting on my ass time. All of that would have been great. But I elected to work today, and I actually feel quite good about it. I'm fortunate that I like my job and who's kidding who, I have a photo exhibition opening on Monday so there would be no possibility of truly relaxing today had I taken it off.

Still, a birthday at work could still be pretty fun. I've been promised cupcakes, I could take a couple of minutes to shape my nails at my desk and I will be spending of good portion of the day sitting on my ass, albeit in front of a computer. Though I think today, just for fun, I'll spend most of the day wearing a party hat. Just cause it's my birthday and I can.

Today's sing-a-long song (as suggested by Roland and Conny, givers of the Star Wars OT DVD Trilogy and all around wonderful people): "Happy Birthday" traditional.

HRH

Round the bend

I'm one exhausted girl. To say that work is full of suprises and new challenges is an understatement. I'm dealing with some external people who I actually believe are trying to suck the life out of me. But I won't let them. No. No. They can try to blindside me with their ineptitude and idiocy, but I will prevail. Oh yes. I will.

Other than all of that I'm okay. I had a good cry yesterday, which I know sounds strange but it really was good. I'm not a happy crier. I cry when I'm sad, tired or hungry. I laugh when I'm happy. My emotions are nicely organized that way. The odd thing has been that I've been really stoic for months. As Cronk in The Emperor's New Groove would say "There's a wall there." I was getting a little concerned that I wasn't expressing emotions like I normally do. I'd lost my extreme highs and lows, settling with a dull hum. And it was strange, because I've been a pretty emotional person for most of my life.

Anyway, psychobabble and introspection aside, I finally cried yesterday. I hesitate to say it felt good, but it felt like a bit of a release. Not a dramatic turn for the best or anything like that, but just another step towards feeling like me again. And true to my form, I felt good today. I cried out the bad, went to bed and woke up happy. Soon I'll have my entire emotional roster at my finger tips and that will be nice.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Tender" by Blur

HRH

I've got a good feeling about this

So I get home from work today in a fantastically bad mood. Like really bad. Like I almost cried on the streetcar home and I haven't been able to cry for months, bad. Someday the heart of stone will soften, but I digress. Bad day. Diplomats are evil and should be the first to the wall when the revolution comes. I tried listening to The Darkness and some Janet Jackson on the walk home from the streetcar and that made a dent in my gloom. I was still broken and battered, but I had the will to dance and the ability to smile, so all was not lost.

I get up the stairs and there's a box from DVDsoon sitting on the landing. M always gets home before I do and he always leaves packages for me there. It's been a great week in that there have been packages on the landing for the last three days. The first with art supplies from M's family in Prague, the second with books o' plenty from Kari (THANK YOU! BTW, tried calling you and none of your numbers work. What's up with that?) and the third, this box from DVDsoon.

The thing about DVDsoon is that they keep their bottom line low by not including silly things like the order slip, so I have a suspicion of who sent me this package, but I have to do some sleuthing to be sure. But more on what's inside the package...

I get out my exacto knife and start opening the box. I pull the layer apart and start screaming. Literally screaming because I'm holding a copy of the Star Wars Original Trilogy Widescreen DVD in my hands. Totally screaming.

I knew there was a chance I'd be getting it for my birthday next Friday. I was hoping and hoping and hoping I'd get it. And I knew that waiting those whole 3 days to get hopefully get it would be hard. I never, ever expected that it would be here early!

What an unbelievable pick me up. M and I watched A New Hope this evening and it was awesome. I think he even enjoyed himself a little and kept the criticism to an indiscernible minimum. Just so awesome. The digital clean up is super snazzy, the sound is wonderful and the whole Han vs. Greedo scene actually works (so everyone can stop flogging that dead horse).

Now I have the whole weekend coming up to watch Empire and Jedi and the bonus disc and then the movies over and over again with the different commentary tracks. I did that with The Fellowhship of the Ring and The Two Towers as well(I get the most out of my DVDs!).

So thank you so much for the DVDs. I think I know who you are, but I'll wait for confirmation before I make an ass of myself. But thank you. It made my day, my week... you get the idea. Thank you.

Today's sing-a-long song: "You Give Me Something" by Jamiroquai

HRH

Lucas puts the geeks nicely in their place

In an AP article that came out today, George Lucas (or as I like to call him "The Man"), not only confirmed that Star Wars would live on past Episode III (Yay! and Duh, who would give up that kind of brand equity), he also made a comment that supports my position on the whole prequel/special edition drama that I have to hear and read about when talking to friends or moderating a forum.

AP: Do you pay much attention to fan reactions to your choices?

Lucas: Not really. The movies are what the movies are. ... The thing about science-fiction fans and "Star Wars" fans is they're very independent-thinking people. They all think outside the box, but they all have very strong ideas about what should happen, and they think it should be their way. Which is fine, except I'm making the movies, so I should have it my way.

Sure, it would be keen if his way was always the best way. I'm by no means a prequel apologist... nothing broke my heart like The Phantom Menace did... but I respect Lucas' right to make his movies the way he wants to. They are his after all. If I was fronting all of my own money to make them, then I could dictate how things work out. But I'm not. I'm lucky if I can afford soap these days.

But I digress. With Episode III months away, my talk of Star Wars will increase, so you're all going to have to deal with that. I'm excited about the hoopla of the coming year and while I am a pretty hardcore Star Wars geek I like to think that I am a step above the other geeks out there. I don't have the time to dedicate all my energies to Star Wars fandom. I just enjoy it and be on my way to apply my critical faculties to more important issues like government funding for health care research and how to make my skin stop being so damn greasy.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Cantina Band" by John Williams

HRH

X equals clown

I don't like clowns.

Actually, that's an understatement. Clowns give me heart palpatiations, make me feel like I'm choking and cause me to be totally irrational. I fear them. I don't have many irrational fears. I don't like bugs, mice and snakes, but I wouldn't say that I fear them. I fear death, but I think that's a pretty rational thing to be afraid of. I used to be afraid of graveyards, perhaps a manifestation of my fear of death, but I got over that and have moved on, I don't like them, spend as little time as possible in them, but there's nothing that a graveyard can actually do to hurt me.

I used to be afraid of dogs, but I've managed to reduce that fear to dogs that can kill me and since dogs can sense fear, I figured it would be good to get that fear under wraps should I ever encounter a pit bull. That, and a golden retriever in with a bandana around it's neck is possibly the cutest thing ever. Who could possibly be afraid of that?

Basically I'm left with two irrational fears. Birds and clowns. I've been working on the bird fear, since M seems to have become a bird whisperer. Mind you, he hasn't seen The Birds, and I challenge anyone to trust those feathery things after watching that movie.

Clowns, I just can't get over. Clown in cartoons, that actually talk are okay, like Krusty and Sideshow Bob. Real, live, adults who choose a life of clowning, and speak only in grunts or horn honks are scary. Even Ronald McDonald gives me the creeps. The only thing worse than a clown would be a bird dressed as a clown

It troubles me to say this, but clowns are an occupational hazard at my work. I've been here for a year and I've managed to avoid the clowns. I see one coming, I take another route. I hear them come into the office, I hide in my cubicle. They freak me right out.

This Thursday, I may have to confront this fear of clowns. I may have to spend more than 1.5 hours with one, possibly two, clowns for a shoot. I am doing this because no one else can. Most of the rest of the department is in high level meetings, or away for the Jewish high holy days and the rest, I can only assume, aren't qualified. Which leaves me vs. The clowns.

I have an anti-anxiety pill in a little case that used to carry around in the days of panic attacks. It was like my "in case of X open case." It's been in my medicine cabinet for many years now, as anxiety attacks have been blissful absent from my life. I might have to carry the pill case around on Thursday, just in case.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Something wicked this way comes" by Barry Adamson

HRH

Bits and bits of progress

Thanks to an intervention by my sister, I can now boil eggs without tears. Thanks to the support of my beloved M, I can now cut raw chicken. Yay me. Thanks to my own drive to conquer the cooking beast, I made some seriously kick ass greek style roast potatoes to go with the chicken souvlaki M made on the BBQ. Totally yay me.

My next triumph will be chilli.

In non-culinary news, today is the start of my Fantasy Football season. Yes boys, not only am I a Star Wars geek, I also enjoy watching sports like Hockey and Football and have joined an on-line league for the first time. There is no end to my geekery.

In fact, geek-wise it's been a great day. Many, many football games to watch and A&E broadcast a 2-hour documentary that will appear on the 4th disc of the Star Wars Original Trilogy DVD set (which comes out just days before my birthday *cough*). And it was awesome and M actually sat and watched the whole thing with me and didn't say one mean word about the movies. Bliss!

Sundays can be good.

Today's sing-a-long song:"Something Beautiful" by Robbie Williams

HRH

Why do they even let me be part of this society?

I mean seriously, who screws up boiling an egg... 4 times!!!

Besides being lazy and a bit of a princess, there was a good reason why I didn't cook for myself before. I'm AWFUL at it. AWFUL! I've wasted more eggs than I'd like to admit trying to make an egg salad sandwich for work tomorrow. How much money has my stupidity saved? Not much. And I'm so full of eggs, since I don't want to throw good food out. And I think I messed up the egg salad anyway once I had an egg actually hard boiled by using miracle whip instead of mayo, because when I was at the store I didn't get mayo because I thought you used miracle whip in egg salad, but now that I taste it, it seems wrong and MY GOD I suck. Why is it all so complicated?

Urgh! And what's worse, is well-meaning people will post advice on how to boil an egg (even though I followed the instructions to the letter in my "How to cook: The boiled egg any beyond") and make me feel like an even bigger ass as they flaunt their cooking prowess in my face. "Look at us! We're all normal, well-adjusted adults and we can boil eggs. We can even derive some joy from the act of cooking. Look at us randomly toss in a spice and have our meal turn out great, while you follow your 'cooking' instincts and make dinner taste like tar."

Yes, congratulations, you're all better people than I am. You can all spell and you can all cook. I'll be in the back eating carbs in my illiterate filth.

When money was a bit freer, I could mask my lack of cooking skill by getting take out, pleading with M to cook something and then throwing in one of the 5 things I know how to not make taste like tar and he'd be impressed. Now that we're eating in exclusively the jig is up. Unlike me, M doesn't like eating the same thing every day. He likes variety and he likes trying new and exciting foods. And oh, how I wish I could be an exciting food person. But I'm not. You all see what I eat on the Munchies blog. It's not a stringent diet, it's the way I am. I find something I like and then I eat it and only it until I tire of it. And as time passes in this new deal, he's going to see me for the bad-cooking monster that I am and leave me for some girl named Katka who only needs to look at a pot to have it brimming with the greatest food known to mankind.

Seriously, after a couple weeks of cous cous, pasta, salad, pancakes and (maybe if I ever master them) boiled eggs, I'd leave me for Katka. I mean who can love a person that's afraid of raw chicken?

HRH

Less image-y

Because of some e-dramas, I've had to remove most of the pics of me from the blog for a little while until things chill a bit. They'll be back eventually, so bear with the broken link images for now.

Sorry!

Today's sing-a-long song: "Take a pitcure" by Filter

HRH

Please don't let this mean that "Trailer Chic" is on the way

Ninety-nine per cent of the time, Britney Spears in meaningless to me. Her songs are catchy and sometimes amusing, her videos flashy and dance-tacular and her life, well I couldn't care less about her life. The only time that her life matters to me is when her sphere of influence starts to affect popular culture in a bad, bad way. He girl is influential. She's popular, attractive and well, a lot of people like to emulate those who are popular and attactive. Even when they're being total knobs.

Britney has a lot of money. Like silly amounts of money. And she seems to be proving the adage true that you can't buy good taste. This is true of so many celebrities. They come from, shall we say, modest roots and instead of trading up for lifestyle of class and quality, they stay true to their roots (which in some people's world is a good thing) but just make it ghetto fabulous or trailer chic. Being a person who values personal choice, I can't stop these people, but I can cry out asking "What the hell are you doing?"

Even in my most ghetto of student days, when I was dating the slacker highschool dropout lead singer of an alt-rock band, I was never as ghetto as Britney has become. I mean, have you seen the crap she walks outside in these days? And I don't mean the crap she wears on stage. I've seen pics of her, coming out of a restaurant, where people eat, wearing a pair of white Uggs and possibly the ugliest gold negligee EVER. Forget about her clothes. The hair, the no make-up. She can afford people to take care of these things for her. Such an opportunity wasted.

Anyway, I hope people take his opportunity to not follow Britney to the trailer park and engage in some thinking of their own. Cause my goodness, we don't need more of this crap.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Queen of my double wide trailer" by Sammy Kershaw.

HRH

Lazy days of summer

It was nice of summer to make an appearance, just before Labour Day. At least it leaves us all with the impression that there was a summer. Some of us found it cold (I found it perfect, as I prefer cold to hot 9 times out of 10), some of us found it less of the relaxing and more of the stressing (but such is life).

Regardless of how you like your summer I suggest you do what I'm about to do. Pull yourself away from the computer, enjoy the fact that you've done your duty, finished your chores and been an all around good person and enjoy the last night of summer. I know I've earned it and odds are you have too.

Today's sing-a-long song: "Boys of Summer" by Don Henley

HRH

Why not?

HRH

What a girl wants

As promised my birthday wish list. 23 sleeps to turning 28. Booya. If you're actually going to get me a birthday present, well kisses to you, but it's not an expected thing. It's just an FYI and a kind of virtual shopping for me and if someone wants to get me something from this list, well dandy. If not, I still have love for you all. We're still cool. //ghetto handshake

Anyway, let M know if you get anything so that he can be master of information. You know, cause no one wants 12 mellonballers.

Chelsea's super-fantabulous-shameless birthday wish list

• Austin Powers International Man of Mystery TrilogyAvailable at Amazon.ca


• Foxy Oringials Jet Set Collection Prague Earrings in Clear Crystal Available around Toronto - See Web site


• Mason Pearson Pure Bristle Brush Via Sephora Web site


• Benefit High Beam Available at the Queen Street or Yorkdale Bay stores


• Benefit Lipscription Available at the Queen Street or Yorkdale Bay stores


• Benefit Bathina Body So Fine Available at the Queen Street or Yorkdale Bay stores


• Benefit EyeCon Available at the Queen Street or Yorkdale Bay stores


• DuWop Lip Venom Available at Sephora.com


• Terax Original Lotion Shine Available at Toronto Barber and Beauty Supply

Alternatively, you could just wish me a nice day, give me a hug and be on your way. :-)

Today's sing-a-long song: "What a girl wants" by Christina Aguilera

HRH