Now This is Where my Talents Lie

If they could somehow find a way to bottle my ability to procrastinate, they could fuel all of Africa, and I would be up for some sort of humanitarian prize. It's amazing how much effort you can put into not doing something. And I've really been doing some of my best work today. I even managed to organize all of my insecurities and frustrations into an excellent outburst of crying and self-loathing while watching "fashion Rocks: For The Prince's Trust."

There's a cycle I have when I'm facing a more-significant-than-usual deadline. I avoid, I clean, I do everything else I've been neglecting, I ignore, I try to corral M into sex, I have sex, I become stressed, I have an emotional meltdown, I pull myself back together, I write whatever it is I have to write, I have a 20 minute high and I pass out. Even though most of this process is totally unnecessary, it usually produces some of my best work.

We've just passed emotional meltdown and I'm doing some pulling back together. Which is proving to be more than a small challenge as I was measured for my bride's maid's dress yesterday. While I think it's going to be a wonderful dress, and it was a pretty positive shopping experience, the reality of what size they ordered me was depressing. But I will stick to my mantra that my "weight is not my worth" and "higher numbers are better than lower numbers." My philosophy will be that if I'm going to fill up a lot of space, then I might as well fill it beautifully and with style. And if anyone makes me feel like a fatty or look at me funny, I'll kick their ass like there's no fucking tomorrow.

Ahhh.

Time to write.

HRH