Weepy Mc Whines-a-lot
Yup, that's me today. I'm hoping it's just part of the hormonal rollercoaster that is my existence. Seeing as the last time I felt this crappy about myself was about 28 days ago, well... you do the math. The logical part of my brain is doing a great job of pointing out "This is just hormonal. It's PMS. It happens. Things are not all doom and gloom." It's there, and it's giving me a good pep talk. However, if you were to imagine my brain as a house party, and all the things that contribute to my mental state as individual guests, then currently my rational side is sitting by the stereo, looking through CDs, whispering this really fricken important information to itself. SO useful. The rest of the party is full of really loud soap opera divas all poised on that moment before they cry, because Lacy has gotten pregnant with Chad's baby but he can't acknowledge the child because of his affiliations to the circus. Oh it's all so dramatic.
Am I making any sense?
Today is emotional day. You know you've hit the cheese-y bottom when you find yourself identifying with an Evanesence song. If I'm going to be all dark and depressed, I should at least have the guts to be depressed to genuine Goth music. Not pop-Goth. And certainly not while driving a huge green truck around a small town. Talk about adding further insult to injury. To the people of Kingston, if you saw a girl driving a Ford 150 Laredo, wearing far too much eyeliner for summer and crying her little heart out along with a song on the radio... really at least one of you should have shot me.
Sigh. I'm in such a state today that I can spin ANYTHING into something to be upset about. Truly my finest hour. I know bad days happen. They happen to me like clockwork, but usually my life is in some kind of order, so I get grumpy about things like hair and hangnails. This time, when the monthly wallow-fest rolled into town, I have some legitimate anxieties and a whole lot of ambiguity to deal with. I can't think of a way to push those unproductive feelings aside today. And that's pissing me off even more. Someone should nail me with a tranquilizer dart and wake me up in 2 days.
Today's Sing-a-long song: (You guessed it) "Bring Me To Life" by Evanesence
//bows head in shame
HRH

