Helen Zass

Laura and I caught Full Throttle this evening at a local Kingston cinema and I have to say I had such a great time. Just so much fun. I actually had to call Wendy just after the movie to squeal about how much it rocked.

I think that if I were to be a superhero, I'd want to be an Angel. Just think of the wardrobe and ass-`kicking opportunities.

I know a lot of people scoff at this film, men and women alike, which I think is ridiculous. Yes, it is a action movie where the action heroes do totally impossible things to save the day. Not a new concept at all, but what's different is that it's being done by women who aren't acting like men, but instead acting like women who save the day. Which means a requisite amount of girl fun and silliness. I totally adore these characters. I'm so sick of things like girly-ness being construed as a negative thing. They're competent, they're talented and they're fun. They're not heroes who suffer for their skills (like most comic book characters or action heroes), but instead do their job well and live their lives to the fullest. I think it's just awesome.

And the movie is so fun. All the references to Singin' in the Rain and Grease, spectacular. Did I mention the clothes and the totally fun booty shaking?

I know that movies like Charlie's Angels are far from indicative of reality, but I do like what they're saying. You can be girly, feminine and all those other wonderful things that women can be and at the same time you can be good at what you do and proud of who you are. I like that these films say that being a hottie and a smarty aren't mutually exclusive.

I also really loved the cameo by one of the original Angels. Brilliant! And Demi Moore's body! My god. That woman should flaunt it because damn it looks like she's worked for it.

On a totally unrelated note, I'll be working on my abs and high kicks tomorrow.

HRH

CG rocks the T-Dot

As I was driving into the mega city yesterday I had an idea. Why don't they change the sign for Toronto from "Toronto, Population 2,459,333" (approximate value, I didn't actually catch all 7 digits as I was whipping by at 130 km/h) to "Toronto, Population 2,549,332 Horrible drivers." (The minus 1 is for Mike as I think he's a pretty keen driver and it's just declasse to dis your host in any way shape or form). I'm amazed. As Mike put it yesterday "They're aggressive and they're stupid," which is never a good combination.

When I'm walking I think that Toronto is a pretty decent place to be. Hot like you wouldn't believe, but decent. When I'm driving I ask myself why I'm moving to this city. Clearly the solution is once M arrives in July, he's doing all the driving.

Grumping aside I am really excited about the prospect of living in Toronto. It's going to be so great living in the same city as so many of my friends, being able to find a new apartment and actually decorate it with all of my belongings (M's too!). And while Toronto is really different from Prague I think I'll be okay here. There's always something happening and there's no language barrier. Did I mention that many of my friends live here and my sister! I'm excited.

So like Mike pointed out in his blog yesterday, if anyone has any jobs they'd like to throw my way, I'm taking.

HRH

Hyperspace

You all should know by now that I more than a bit of a Star Wars freak. Fanboy might be a fitting term, save the gender confusion. With Star Wars my inner nerd shines like the sun on a clear July day. It's bad... but so good at the same time.

As some of you know, Episode III has started production in Sydney. The people at LucasFilm are a smart lot. They know that there are all kinds of people just begging for info and spoilers concerning the final film of the Star Wars Saga. So what do they do? They make most of the information pertaining to Ep. III premium content on their website. It's called Hyperspace, and I have so say it's pretty neat. I purchased my $19.95 year membership and am getting access to all kinds of information about the film (stuff that's interesting simply from a film making POV, let alone from a Star Wars perspective) from casting, costuming, make-up, editing, effects... you name it. There are interviews with cast and crew and there's one guy who's job it is to just write a daily diary of life on the Ep. III set. Why, exactly, do I not have this guy's job?

One of the coolest things is the on-site web cam. It's live from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. EST and it's positioned in different places around the set. So you see some construction, make-up and rehearsals. Obviously they're only letting out as much as they want to let out, but that's cool.

You know why? Because I just caught Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen during saber practice on the webcam! I know that movies are often reshaped as they are made, but some of the movements the camera caught are just way too fabu. One was almost worth $19.95 on it's own.

HRH

Clarification on my homework

Getting back into my mystical past for this blog entry I am going to be a medium.

From the Homework post of several days ago, the source offers some more info. Ladies and Gents... Klara:

"Ok, I'm the sucker who started all this, so now I have to close it. Matej's questions about the meaning of the sentence holds the key as to which is grammatically correct. The 'subjunctive mood' is the applicable rule here, as it is most often used in formal English. The subjunctive is used when talking about something that is imagined to happen in the future - therefore ACT is correct. (Here is another good example of the subjunctive - "I am rather anxious that she discuss this with me soon.") Otherwise it merely confirms something that is already true.
Compare:

I agree that each of the dogs has a biscuit = Yes, it is correct that at this moment every dog has a biscuit.
I agree that each of the dogs have a biscuit = I give my permission for each dog to have a biscuit.

So you see, in the power of attorney, the Company was permiting the Attorneys, therefore the infinitive had to be used. Which means that I was right, and that I should have more faith in my job as a proofreader. P.S. Matej, the capitalisation is funky because the sentence was in a power of attorney and was talking about a certain Company and certain Attorneys, and it does make sense. I'll shut up now.

Does it make more sense now?"

Mediumship over.

HRH

Egyptian Burlesque, oh joy

Today was my first Belly Dancing class in Canada. On the whole (preparation H feels good - sorry couldn't resist), it was okay. I got a bit of attitude from some dancers when I first arrived, but the teacher was super nice and welcoming. It's not really the style of dance that I'm used to. To be honest, I've always held this type of dancing in pretty low regard, the kind of dancing that was done by women for men. The kind I learned always seemed like a big celebration, where women were dancing for themselves and each other - guys were just the lucky bystanders. Like the difference between all out slutty and flirty.

Of course I'm going to do my best at it. It's not as challenging as the other styles, but I do get to keep in dancing shape. It's always good to learn as much as possible about a given style and most of the people in my class are really nice and sweet. I just not the style that I want to do. It's not forever and really it's going to be hard for any teacher to compare to Rena in Prague. She was simply fantastic.

In the end it doesn't matter as much... I'm still shaking my booty.

HRH

Title-tastic

Assuming I've done this correctly my friends Jay and Mike can now be happy that my blog is all rss-y. Blogger pro did an interfect overhaul (new colours too) which made swtiching on the rss option that much easier. So be happy and joyful. All I need now is blogger based comments so I can stop using this UK system that's oh so slow.

HRH

Slow that sucker down

I wasn't expecting to recieve the new Harry Potter book until next week. I was pretty sure when I'd ordered it from Amazon I hadn't selected the "be a big keener and have the book delivered on Saturday" option. However, when I'd returned from shopping with my Mother today we came in the back door of the house and didn't check the mailbox or front door. When my father came back from his dive at around 2:00 he found a package from Amazon sitting between our outer and inner font doors (two doors are a must when you live on the lake - bugs, bugs, bugs).

Aside Can I just mention how wonderful it is that I got this book for about $20 dollars, on the internet and it came right to my front door meaning I didn't have to spend any time with children waiting for it. Score!/Aside

I was going to go on a bike ride with my Dad, hoping to enjoy my new bike seat, made just for girls (read: comfortable), but the weather wasn't having it. So I decided to read. I started at about 2:30 p.m., then went out with my mother for more shopping between 4 and 5:30 and took a break for some very yummy pan fried sole and rice for dinner (take away another half hour).

I finished reading Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix at 10:30 Eastern Standard Time. Meaning I read a 766 page kids book in about 5 and a half hours. I know I'm a pretty fast reader, but I also know that I wasn't exactly reading James Joyce or anything. Regardless, I've really got to get over my whole "have to know how it ends as soon as possible" thing.

It wasn't bad. I enjoyed the book. Harry is, like, really pissed off for most of the book ( rightly so I think - the average teen is pissed off at the world anyway, imagine how much worse it would be if you were "the boy who lived"). The death is sad. It wasn't who I'd expected it to be... of course at the end pretty much everyone's life is in serious danger so my odds of being right weren't so bad.

I'm reading 4 other books right now. I wonder which one I'll finish tomorrow.

HRH

Nice

Clever.

HRH

Homework

I know that many of the readers of this blog are masters of the English language. I also know that I am not. I have other super powers and have managed to surround myself with friends who can cover my tail should the villianous monsters "bad grammar" and "hideous spelling" attack.

So English masters I must call on you ("From land! From sea! From sky!). Someone has asked to help them with something that involves grammar. It seems that everything I learned about teaching English has been left behind in Prague. I think I know the answer, but I know that one of you will have it. So here's the question:

Which of these sentences is correct and why?

1) "The Company agrees that each of the Attorneys act independently."
2) "The Company agrees that each of the Attorneys acts independently."

I think it's 2. What do you think?

HRH

Now what?

It's almost 1 a.m. and hopefully I've kicked my jet lag. How did I do it? Well I'm proud to say that about 5 minutes ago I finally finished Jedi Outcast. Booya. I would have blogged about it even sooner but I was forced to watch all the game credits (tricksy). It was a really fun game, though there were far too many tasks that depended upon jumping. Really how can any game be bad when you can chop the hands and feet off of Imperial officers. The game also has a really nice logo. Almost tattoo worthy... Oh wait I've already done that. :-)

Ohh it's SO much fun being a nerd.

HRH

Guess who's back? Back again. Chelsea'a back. Tell a friend...

I was recognized yesterday. I realize that sounds totally pretentious, like I think I'm a big deal (which I'm SO not), it was just strange. I was at the Rogers/AT & T store asking all kinds of irritating questions about phones and one of the sales people looked familliar in that "living in a small town" kind of way. It turned out that he recognzied me, knew my name and where I lived. "I knew it was you as soon as you'd said you'd been living in Europe." he said. Sadly, I had NO IDEA who this guy was. I really hope I didn't make out with him in highschool.

It could just be my overwhelming sense of paranoia, but I swear I heard an egde in this guy's voice. I know that some people in my hometown really hate me. Somehow I've let this knowledge balloon into thinking that everyone in my home town hates me. Which is insane, but it's what I'm thinking.

What else am I thinking... I'm thinking that Evan would have lost his mind had he seen the Tatu performance on the MTV movie awards. More than 100 teenage girls running around the stage in their underpants and those little Russians singing their hearts out. Funny thing is, I really don't like their songs in English.

I'm also thinking that the dead bird I found this morning while sweeping the deck was one of the freakest things I've seen in awhile. I'm thinking it sucks that I have to coat myself in bug repellent every time I go out so I don't catch West Nile disease from a misquito. I'm thinking I have to stop watching shows about Eminem and I'm thinking it would be nice to so be so darn sleepy all the time.

HRH

O Canada, my home and native land...

After a day of travelling and a whole lot of sleep and food I can safely say that I am back in the motherland. ("Yo Kish you went to Africa?" "Naw Japan..." - Kudos to whoever gets that lyric). The weather here is pleasant. Not as oppresively warm as Prague (I think being by the water is a big help and not having quite so many people around) and my body is readujsting to the humidity here. My feet fell less dry already.

Arriving was actually pretty great. Everyone at Canada Customs and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency at Person airport was amazing and friendly. I've never encountered such fantastic government serivce, and I've never really had a problem dealing with the Canadian Government. You know that you're customs inspection (I had to declare the cat and everything else being shipped) is going to go well when the Customs Inspector stops mid-sentence to compliment you on your shoes. Not to mention the fact that I was served by 4 Inspectors at once. Incredible. A big Boo ya to all of them.

The greatness continued when my father placed a mobile phone in my hand once we were in the car and said "Use it as long as you need to." Boo ya ya.

Zeus is slowly adjusting to sharing space with to enormous Norwegian Forest Cats. They're called cats, but they're much much bigger than any cat you've ever imagined. The boy, Aristotle, weighs 16 pounds and is still growing. It's totally out of hand.

I've also spent the morning assimilating myself to North American culture. Which means I've been eating like a pig, sitting on my ass watching movies and MTV. Classic! I've already watched Maid in Manhattan (Gah) and 8 Mile (God Eminem reminds me of an exboyfriend in that flim - except for the part when he stops being the loser). On the table for later is a daytime viewing of The Ring and The Anamatrix. I just love satellite television.

I'm missing Prague pretty badly and panicing about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I don't think it's going to sink in that I don't live there anymore for quite some time. I am happy to be home, don't get me wrong. I'm just trying to sort out exactly where that is. I cried twice on the filght back. Once because I was watching this Czech movie Rebelove (Rebels) and I always cry in Czech movies when the armys of the Warsaw pact invade. It's a thing that I do. Luckily Rebelove also has lots of singing and dancing. I wanted to cry when the 73 year old man sitting next to me wouldn't stop hitting on me (I'm mean really!). I think one of the best lines he gave me was "I wouldn't marry you. You're too smart." Damn, another great opportunity lost.

So yeah... I'm home. And I don't seem to have much to do. So expect some very crazy ranting in the weeks to come before Matej arrives in Toronto.

HRH

T minus 27 hours and counting

While I'm very excitied to be returning back to Canada and to everyone I love there, I'm realizing that leaving Prague is making me pretty sad at the same time. Some of the sadness stems from knowing that I'm not even going to see my beloved M for more than a month, let alone know when I'll be able to make the move from Kingston to Toronto. Another part of it is all the wonderful friends I have here, some of whom are staying and others who are also making their way to the next phase of their lives. I've met some amazing people, had so much fun and learned so much about myself.

I know it's going to sound strange but I'm going to miss walking in Prague. I walked everywhere here. I'm going to miss all the silly things I used to do to overcome homesickness. Heck, even the silly things I used to do here period. I'm going to miss our apartment and Saturday mornings when Zeus would sleep with us. I would look at my sleeping cat and sleeping man and look out the window at a row of Baroque facades and a park with a rose garden (all the graffitti was on our side of the street). It's really been a beautiful place to live.

HRH

Snap

I'm currently convinced that everyone who has shed the contraints of the material lifestyle was in the place that I'm in right now. The place where you look at all of your "valuable" things and can contemplate what a relief it would be to indulge in a little bit of gasoline and flame. I'm not saying I'm giving up my materialistic ways or anything, I'm just saying that I'm at a point where torching the lot of it would really make me smile.

Canada Customs Agent: Do you have anything to declare Miss?
Me (grinning): Just this pack of matches Sir.

HRH

Burnt out and sunburned

I’m now unemployed. It’s taking a bit of getting used to. I work up this morning and my head just started planning what needed to be done at the office. I started worrying about the clean up at the softball fields a good 2 hours before anyone would be there to start working. I thought of something that could be potentially disastrous and sent the new me an sms about it. The reply I got was "Quit worrying."

So I’m putting my energies towards other things. It’s hard, but it need to be done. I’m currently trying to recover from the sunburn I got this weekend. I loathe tan lines so I’m pretty grumpy about it. M thinks tan lines are sexy, so at least one of us is happy.

I’m also investigating mobile providers in Canada and I can’t say that I’ve seen anything that’s going to please me. All I want is a GSM network that extends all the way to Kingston. It’s in between Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa which would make you think that someone would have put a GSM node there by now. But so far, no. Like I was told by a very nice RCMP officer this weekend who came to the softball tournament the sun really does rise in Scarborough and set in Milton.

I just can’t bear the idea of not using GSM and going back to the dark ages of contracts. However it seems that I’m saved my Rogers AT&T who have a lovely GSM network that covers Kingston, Toronto and all other kinds of exciting places. Of course I also have to find out what providers my friends are on so I can send them text messages… sigh. It’s all so complicated. Maybe I should just by a really nice pair of sunglasses instead of a tri-band phone.

HRH

Goodbye country, hello nightclub

Today was my last day in the office. I still have 3 more days of work, but not in the very hot and stuffy offices of The Prague Post. What am I doing for the next few days? My very very last Heavy Hitters Charity Softball Tournament. Wendy knows that these events are a love and hate thing. There are things you enjoy like the cool people who really get into the spirit of the event and seeing it all come off and there are the things that make you want to go all wire-fu on everyone like the people who forget that it's a fun charity tournament, not the fricken world series.

It's going to be a long and sweaty weekend (again), but fun. More fun than usual because I don't have to do clean up on Monday, but less fun than usual because it will be my first Heavy Hitters without Kari. 3 more days to unemployment. Booya.

HRH

Where does the time go?

It's a little scary that I'm going to be totally unemployed in 5 days. It's good, in that I need to find something new and apply to some make-up schools, but it's scary and strange. I'm not going to be doing anything when I get home. Scary, scary, scary. Though my father assures me that I'll have myself doing 9 million things within a matter of weeks. So that's a comfort as very few people can predict my actions as well as my father can.

I'm also having some control issues at work. I'm fairly young and I've been very involved with the organization that I've leaving. It's really hard to let go, give up and say "not my pants." I'm trying, really I am. It's just hard. I want everything do be done right, and I know how to do it right. I pity the person I've been training for the last few weeks. He must be ready to kill me.

Leaving is going to be hard. I really should have left Prague in the winter, when it's cold, grey and grumpy. Not at the beginning of summer when the city is just beyond beautiful. I've been spending all the spare time I have (which isn't a lot) in beer gardens or outside in some of the city's parks. I said two goodbyes yesterday. One to the wonderful Tania (who is joining the ranks of all my friends on the West Coast) and the second to my favourite student, Vera. While this woman is my mothers age, she really became a wonderful friend and made teaching a joy. I can only hope that I'm that cool when I'm in my late fifties.

It sometimes feels like the powers that be are conspiring to make my departure as hard as possible. Everyone is being so wonderful, the weather is fantastic... I think the best way to look at it is that I'm totally leaving on a high note. I've even been getting compliments and letters about my last Survival Guide. Crazy. 11 days to go...

HRH

Like that rave in Zion, only sweatier

It's been a really sweaty weekend. Considering I'm the kind of person who really doesn't enjoy sweating, it seems kind of odd that I was doing so much of it in the last 24 hours.Things like cycling and sitting in the sun for most of Sunday were mild sweat inducing experiences, giving me that glossy glow, however last night was one of those shirt-dampening-slimy-ass-body experiences that has made me seriously appealing to the UN that clubs without air conditioning systems are guilty of some sort of human rights violation.

I went to 80s and 90s night at Lucerna Music Bar as part of Tania's going away weekend festivities. Lucerna is a total cheese-fest but if you're in the right mood (aka not in your usual "too cool" mood that I often fall victim too) it can be so much fun. And I did have fun, but it made me sweat in a very un-ladylike way. But it was worth it.

HRH