Laughter heals all wounds

I was in a grump this morning. Dare I say I was beginning to dispair. The reasons for this gloom are complicated and not so interesting that I would post them, but I did want to say that I'm feeling better. Thanks to a pleasant lunch with M and E and the arrival of someone else in the office (I was alone all morning) and to remembering to check the Japanese contraband subtitles of TTT on Mike's blog. I laughed, giggled, snorted and felt much joy at the silliness. Right now my favourite screen shot is of Gollum going "ohhh must think." Which you can see on this page. It's the absurd things that really make me happy.

HRH

Tough Call

It like a bad script. Just when you think things are progressing naturally towards the next step in your life, someone inevitabily comes along and tries to throw a wrench in the mechanism. Not a big machine stopping wrench, but a small one that can make the gears grind and slow things down.

The meeting went really well yesterday. I was not called a slug, but was made to feel like I've been trying to feel for months. I know the feeling won't last and I know that it's easy to change your mind when things are great and optimisim is running high. It's hard. I've been trying to make myself care less and less and then I meet with people who have all kinds of ideas and suggestions and support and I just can't hold back the person inside me that wants to do, do, do.

Just she'll just have to wait. My heart and mind are set on what I want to do. While I'm having his moment of pause, where I'm looking back over my shoulder and wondering if this is right, inside I know I've made the right choice. Though I did say to someone yesterday who offered me another job in an effort to keep me here "You're making this awfully difficult."

HRH

Misc

Today's hair: Straight and behaving like it should. All is right with the world.

Today's mood: Jumpy and stressed. Annual board meeting is today. Could be a "hey you rock" experience or a "crawl out of this board room you talentless slug" experience. I'm betting on the latter.

Today's perfume: Romance by Ralph Lauren. I'm trying to smell like I've totally got it together, though I'm too nervous to eat my breakfast coissant.

Today's quote: "What's with today, today."

HRH

Natural vs Nature

Not even going to talk about the tragedy that is my hair today. I think this has soildified that curls and me are just not going to happen until I get back to North America and my curling iron with the HUGE barrel for hair like mine. I've seen people in this country with really good hair and I just want to know, where the hell are you people getting your curling irons? Why can't I do anything cute with my hair??

Anyway, I'm having some issues living in the now. I made a new mixed mini-disc on Sunday and have pretty much been immersed in it ever since. I've been looking for excuses to get out and walk somewhere by myself so I can listen to it. Some people have things like food or porn or whatevr to get them through the duller parts of the day, but not me. I have my music and my imagination. I just put on the headphones and slip off into my own little word ("That's where I'm a pirate!"). So I've been spending a lot of time there as of late. And it seems that most of my fantasies have nature in there somewhere. Be it a cottage by the lake, a road trip through the less populated parts of North America, walking through the woods or swimming. I think my heart is telling me it's getting maxed out on the city again. I have nothing against city life, I just need breaks from it once in awhile.

I grew up on the waterfront, on a plot of land that had so many trees and gardens, squirrels and birds that it was like watching your own nature show when you looked out the window. I spent a lot of time when I was home at Christmas just looking out our kitchen window at the family of ducks eating the feed my mother leaves on the waterfront each morning. Part of me needs that in my life. Of course, there's not a lot I can do about my nature needs right now, so I'll have to get my fix in my head. At least it's about 9 degrees in Prague today and the air smells a little less like smog and a bit more like spring. All I need are some flowers and my desires may be satiated... at least for a little while.

HRH

A blessing and a curse

Oh yeah, we're getting more vapid every day. Today I'm going to talk about hair. Mostly about my hair, and the fact that it's kind of pissing me off today. Those who do not know me or have not seen me will not know that I generally have good hair. Thick, brown with natural red highlights and straight and usually long. Straight like the side of a razor blade. My hairdresser says that I have Irish hair (not really sure what that means) and that I should just let it do what it wants to do. Meaning "stop trying to curl your hair you silly git."

And I was good for a long time. Neither curling iron or pillow rollers have touched my hair since the end of October. Then last night I said to myself "Why not try the rollers again? If you put your hair in small enough sections you may be able to get lasting curl." Lasting curl is the holy grail for girls with straight, heavy hair. It was going pretty well, until I got to the back of my head. There it was a big chunk of hair as thick as what most people have on their entire head, 20 rollers already used and four left over. I sighed and split the secton into four, knowing full well that when I took the rollers out in the morning, there would be four curls that just wouldn't cut it.

And lo and behold this morning most of tresses in curly J-Lo worthy splendor, and four chunks that said "we were thinking about curling, but looking half-assed and kinky was just more fun." In spite of all my efforts and my sleeping in unusual contorted posititions I simply had to put my hair up today. Granted it's a very cute pony tail with curls, but it's not the Pantene commercial splendor I'd envisioned. To make matters worse, the fact that I'm doing my big no-no of putting up my hair has given me a wonderful headache making my planned fabu hair day a big fat boo-urns.

I guess sometimes you have to do silly things like tie your hair into painful knots to remined yourself that a blow-out and a good brushing in sometimes all you need to be cute. There's a reason why I'm all over natural beauty.

HRH

Carly the great

My Carly is actress. A damn fine actress in my opinion and a theatre company has taken note of that and given her a part in a touring company of Everyman. I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't ask that everyone and their families and everyone they've ever met checks out the site, has a look at Carly's bio (found under the "bios" section, oddly enough), and makes every effort to see the show. Ohh, I just did a plug!

HRH

Making an effort to be an more understanding person

I tried. I really tried. I saw The Two Towers for the thrid time last night and I gave myself a mental pep talk before the movie started. I tired to do it in Mike's voice as he seems to be the most unimpressed with my loathing of Eowyn.."Do you hate her because she fights?" he once said to me. Heck no. Her will to fight and her strengh are very cool. What she does in Return of the King... fantastic. From that point on, I even liked her in the book.

She's one tough chicka in a horribly difficult situation. Her brother banished, her cousin dead, her uncle under a spell that makes him a spectre of the man he once was and war upon her and her people. All in all she's in a bad spot. When I looked at it from that perspective I didn't hate her so much. At least I didn't hate her for most of the movie. I can't really blame her character for falling for Aragorn. What woman wouldn't? A woman in a situation like hers, where everything seems hopless, would undoubtedly swoon if a hero rode up one day and started showing real leadership, whilst kicking some ass along the way.

What made me her growl at her again were all the drawn out, hair flipping, slow motion shots of her looking at Aragorn. The first one, after Gimli falls off his horse, I'll grant them, but after that it just got silly. Yes, we know that she likes him, but constantly showing her giving him doe eyes undermines what's really cool about her character. She's a leader for her people, she's strong and she's brave. Show me more of that I'll be more forgiving of her unrequited love.

Of course by the end of the film, I had a full on hate-on for her again ("What is she doing hugging him and looking at him like that? Shouldn't she be hugging her brother who's been in exhile and ALSO saved the day?"), but the overall lothing has downgraded to eye-rolling and the occaisonal head shake. Her character needs someone to give her hope. Aragorn seems to do that. So that's good. Really I shouldn't fuss so much as I know how it all ends and who ends up with who but it's always been something that bugged me, even in the books. And was it just me, or did Aragorn sound just a little cheese-ified when he said "You've some experience with a blade." Like it was the beginning of some middle-earth pick up line.

HRH

A running soundtrack

I know, it's totally self-serving and indulgent, but it just started coming together. I was taking a break at work after reading an email from Wendy where she said that she would make a sountrack of her life and send me a copy. And I got thinking about what might go on mine. I started writing down songs. Songs that I've cared for all my life, songs that came to represent major moments in my life, and maybe songs that could have served as a soundtrack to my life so far. I've written three pages of songs so far. 26 years is going to have to be a boxed set.

The challenge is criteria. There have been many songs that I have passionately adored for a week or two and then the magic has worn off almost as quickly as it came on. I guess this is part of what many people do when they look back on their lives. They try to find something meaningful, something worth remembering, and hopefully they see that they had moments of substance and not a string of flights of fancy.

Here is the first draft of my 26 soundtrack. It's been a real John Cusack in High Feidelity experience trying to pick the right songs ("Listen, why don't I just make you a tape."). Like Rob Gordon, I'm trying to organize them autobiographically. These aren't all my favourite songs, but they're songs that have been there through good and bad, provided comfort or fodder for rage.

Eye in the sky - Alan Parsons Project
Xanadu - Oliva Newton John
Rich Girl - Hall & Oates
Material Girl - Madonna
Freedom - Wham
People are people - Depeche Mode
Every breath you take - The Police
Rhapsody in blue - George Gershwin
Allentown - Billy Joel
Covergirl - New Kids On The Block (the SHAME!)
Fight the power - Public Enemy
Wave of mutilation (UK surf) - The Pixies
Everybody knows - Concrete Blonde
Ultraviolet - U2
Express yourself - Madonna
Lies - EMF
World in my eyes - Depeche Mode
Audrey’s Dance (from Twin Peaks) - Angelo Badalamenti
Something good - Utah Saints
Symphony No. 1 - Johannes Brahms
Misty mountain hop - Led Zepplin
Across the universe - The Beatles
Closer, Reptile and I do not want this (from The Downward Spiral) - Nine Inch Nails
This woman's work - Kate Bush
Good enough - Sarah McLaughlin
Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
Queer - Garbage
Protection - Massive Attack
Symphony No. 5 - Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky
Pride (in the name of love) - U2
Just - Radiohead
Down in a hole - Alice In Chains
When you gonna learn - Jamiroquai
Far away (so close) - U2
Finale from "The Empire Strikes Back" - John Williams
Don't Speak - No Doubt
Milk - Garbage
Sheherazade - Nikolay Rimsky-Korsakov
Exit music from a film - Radiohead
6 Underground - Sneaker Pimps
Leather - Tori Amos
Teardrop - Massive Attack
Gorecki - Lamb
Vltava (from Ma Vlast) - Bedrich Smentana
Canned Heat - Jamiroquai
Unintended - Muse
Promeny - Cechomor

HRH

The lame-ass survey post

I'm having a blah day. Where I'm so dull that I'm actually boring myself, and I usually find myself pretty facinating. So in lieu of anything interesting to report, I will crib this survery from a young gal named Kristina and try to do something interesting with myself for tomorrow. So kudos Kristina.

What band/artist have you been playing the most this month?
Aside from my usual rotation of mixed songs on my mini-disc player, there's been a lot of Big Wreck, Bjork, Lord of the Rings soundtracks and the soundtrack to Once More With Feeling.

What was the last CD you bought?
The first Big Wreck album, I think.

Do you like mix tapes/CDs?
I really like mixed tapes but in a context of getting a mixed tape from a boy (now that I've settled on a boy, I don't really get those anymore). Also, now that I rarely use tapes, I'm all about the CDs or mini-discs. I'm a big fan of Mike's CD mixes.

What genres of music do you most enjoy?
I can enjoy pretty much every kind of music, so long as there's melody. I'm picky about that. I adore trip-hop and people who play the piano. I also have a hearty fondness for classical music and anything with heavy bass.

What song/album/artist do you play in the bath?
Tori Amos or Vivaldi.

Name a band/song that is special to you, and explain why.
"Mockingbird Girl" by The Magnificent Bastards (from the Tank Girl Soundtrack) , because it's on the amazing mix tape that M made me when we were getting together and he said it made him think of me.

Have you ever been certain a song was written just for you?
Depends on the period in my life. For a long time it was "Far Away (so close)" by U2,
... a vampire or a victim, it depends on who's around...
and then oddly enough it was "Canned Heat" by Jamiroquai (you don't always have to be defined by a slow song),
...sometimes there's no way I lose, I was born to rock and bound to laugh...
then I think it was "Leather" by Tori Amos...
... I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence...
It's hard to pick one song that is me. I think I'm too complex for that. Though I'm sure at some point I'll have to make a sountrack.

What song never fails to make you cry?
"Silent All These Years" by Tori Amos

If you could go on stage with anyone + duet with them; who would it be, what song would you sing, and why?
I'd have singing lessons first right? I'd love to do a trio with Tori Amos and Kate Bush singing "This Woman's Work."

Does your style match your music taste?
I don't think so. I'd like to think that I don't dress that ecclectically. (that word just doesn't look right now does it?)

What band/song could you never get bored of?
Massive Attack.

What band/artist/song makes your ears bleed?
There's this Czech band called Ready Kirken and they have a song called "Zitra mam" (I have tomorrow) and it makes my skin crawl.

List five bands + a song of theirs that you love (in no particular order):
Massive Attack - Risingson
Tori Amos - Taxi Ride
No Doubt - Hella Good
Muse - Newborn
Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground, Sick

If you had a band - what would you call them and what would be your role?
I think I'd play bass and piano (maybe sing?) and we'd be called...gosh, I dunno. (that's not the name, I just have no idea that isn't totally lame.)

Have you ever been in love with a song/band?
Yes. I was in love with Muse for about a year. Part of me still is.

Is there any song that you just can't bare to listen to because of the memories? (if so, what + why)
I feel kind of sick to my stomach when I hear "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Brian Adams, but I don't think this is the forum to say why. It's not traumatic, but just eecch!

HRH

That wasn't so hard

I've been sitting here for awhile trying to find something to follow yesterday's post. Something light and silly to get back into the flow of things. I needed to look no futher than my beloved Eonline, where I learned that Fred Durst is getting together with Britney Spears.
Wha?

HRH

Trying to get it

"Don't give me your opinion on the war unless I ask for it." I'm going to set that up as on auto-reply function on my email and maybe have a T-shirt made. I know that many people around me have very passionate opinions about the pending war in Iraq, and I respect that. I'm still doing my research, trying to collect information from as many sources as I can (biased and unbiased) and forming my own opnions on the matter. Given the scope of this situation and the propoganda flying about from both sides, it's a lot of work, and it's taking me awhile. So until I have a counterpoint or a rousing "hell yeah!" stop emailing me about it or rambling on without end in sight if we happen to meet at the water cooler. All you're going to get from me in response is "sure."

It's a hot topic I know, but I didn't ask for you to get up on your soapbox in front of me. Today, 7 emails about it, some from people I haven't spoken to in years. Last friday, a co-worker gave me a half-hour lecture on the war, again un-solicited. Sometimes, people have forwarded me articles, which I do appreciate as it's more information for me to work with, but I swear if I get one more stupid petition, that isn't actually legally valid in any form, I'll freak.

The fact remains that it's a horrible connundrum. How do you go about protecting the interests of people who want to live a certain way, without infringing on the rights of others? Who's place is it to depose a Tyrant? Another country's or the people of that nation? At what point do you fight back and at what cost? How is freedom protected by restrictions? There are so many more questions associated with this issue, and sadly, I am not a great political mind. I know that there are great political minds out there, who have all kinds of answers for me, but I believe that I have to find my own. I'm trying to find the facts and then apply what I believe to that. All the rules we play by have changed, which is why I'm doing my best to think before I open my mouth. Once that is done I can truly say what I think and have a real debate about it.

HRH

Things you should click on

While I'm busy being sick and watching The Fellowship of the Ring and Attack of the Clones until I feel better, dagnabit, you (that being the reading populous of this blog, should check out the following links.

First, we can all rejoice that M has decided to stop waiting for the perfect urbane blog topic and has posted a little something on his Movable Type Blog.

Next, check out his site, designed by friend Jay Goldman. It's this Canadian jewelery company, which has been the source for many a christmas present for me from Mike and Dawn. I get scads and scads of comlipments on it, and if you've seen me and said something nice about my necklaces or rings, then you're already a fan.Foxy is the name of the company and their stuff simply rocks.

Finally, I couldn't think of anything else to send you to. But I'm always a fan of Bored.com. Play the "What actor or dictator am I" game. Keeps me entertained for at least 10 mintues.

HRH

Sure is a big white door

After almost 2 years of waiting, M and I are the proud residents of a separated apartment. What does this mean to those of you who haven't made your way over? Before, there used to be a big closet shaped hole (a finished hole, mind you) in our bedroom wall which opened into the foyer of the empty apartment next to us. During this 2 year wating period we used this foyer to come and go, to store our bikes and to give the mighty Zeus a little room to strech his legs. But now, in a whirlwind of activity where there was once empty space, is now a huge closet. Where there was once dry wall is our very own door.

It's going to take a little bit of adjustment. When I opened my eyes this morning I expected to see the hole and hear Zeus racing back and forth through it. But there was just big white doors. I thought about all the things that were neatly organized in that closet, about how we have a proper entrance way with lots of places for our keys, coats and shoes and I smiled. I smiled the smile of an obsessive organizer who'd gorged herself in an orgy of sorting.

Of course now that this apartment is pretty much sorted out and organized, it's time to move.

HRH

Do not miss your chance to blow

Riding in the car today, Eminem's "Lose yourself" came on the radio and I actually had a chance to absorb the lyrics. While I am generally a star when it comes to catching lyrics, one line in the song had totally passed me by. That one being the title of this entry. I realize that I'm totally white (come to think of it, so is Em) and that I'm living thousands of kilometres from the land where this music was spawned, but did I miss a memo or something? Last time I checked blowing (as in, and not the opposite of, sucking) was something you tried not to do. As M pointed out, it's hard to miss your chance to blow, as you pretty much have a chance to blow every fricken day. The rest of the chorus is rather inspiring and about taking your chance, so at first listen this seems rather erroneous.

I have two running theories as to what Em is talking about. First, "blow" means to be on the mic (for Mike). You know, blowing air into it while you speak. My second theory is that Em is giving young women and girls explicit instructions on how to get back stage at one of his shows. Right now it's anyone's game as to which theory is actually the truth.

HRH

Never try and do an accent, unless you're an actor

Those words of wisdon came to mind moments ago when one of the people in my office tried (in jest) to say something with an Irish accent. Not being a linguist and having a pretty strong regional accent from the states, it was fair to say that his attempt didn't sound so much Irish as it did him being impaled.

I've found this to be true of many people trying to sound Irish. Yes, it's a rolling and song like dialect, but the way it's often mimicked it sounds as though the mimicker has sat upon something intrusive and speaks just a little too high. I've found a similar problem with people mimicking Scottish brouge accents. It usually ends up sounding like they really need a good cough.

People from these places with different accents (different from we Central to Eastern Canadians and North Eastern Americans) are kind enough not to go totally insane when fat tounged people from all over the world try desperately to sound like them. Maybe they know that they've got the cool sounding accents, so they're not upset by it. I'm mean you rarely hear someone from Dublin or Devon trying to sound like they're from Northern New York.

Actors can do accents. It's their job. They spend hours, they spend days, learning how to speak differently. It's part of their craft and some of them (Ewan McGreggor, Mini Driver, among others) are just amazing at it. Some, well, aren't so good at it, but at least they can make fun of it from time to time. I'm thinking of the Angel episode where they all think they're 17 again and Angel thinks he's Liam and asks "where is my accent?", saving us all the pain of DB trying to sound Irish again.

Now I can't do an accent to save my life. But I generally have the sense not to try. I may have, during the days in the Irish pub -surrounded by the Irish-, altered the way I say "brilliant", "cheers" and "tosser" but I think that's as far as I went. I had two lovely Irish friends who seemed to just dare me to try and speak with their lovely Limmerick Lilt, but the fact remains, I'm not an actor (I don't play one on TV), so I didn't.

I'd love to be able to speak with a Cambridge accent like my friend Klara, with Karen's lovely Belfast mix or sound like that new guy at the language school from New Zealand. Heck I'd even like to have my Nana's newfie accent. Well, okay, maybe not that one.  However, the fact remains, that unless I learn to act (unlikely), I'm just going to sound like a girl from the edge of the Ottawa valley: part hick, part Kanuck and just a dash or two of Yankee. Yep. my accent is reputed to be the most closed mouthed English dialect in the world. At least I have a linguistic excuse for why I mumble (as does Avril). What's yours?

Oddly enough, someone told me yesterday that I have a perfect Californian accent and wanted to use my voice for a tape of American accents from all the 50 states. Clearly, this person didn't know me well, but I'm hedging my bets that he has partial if not total deafness in at least one of his ears. He can't have heard me use any word with an "ou" sound in it nor, I'm sure, has he ever been to, or met someone from, California.

HRH

Ice Skating

If you think this blog is going to be about winter sports, think again. I spent the better part of this morning with some rather wealthy women, who are doing some pretty cool things in for foreign (wealthy) women living in Prague and getting some cash together for charity. I was at the meeting to observe and see how one of their projects was coming along. It kept my attention pretty well, but during some moments when they were chatting amongst themselves, I couldn't help peeking. I know it's declasse to check out what purse a person is carrying or mentally estimating the carat value of the rings on their fingers, but it's something people do. The smart ones know how to do it without getting caught. Like me. Of course, when I'm faced with the genuine article, be it a Louis Vitton bag, Gucci shoes or an emerald cut stone, I tend to want to reach out and touch it. Also, not something you want to be doing in "proper" company. "Why is that girl trying to paw my scarf?"

Anyway, it viewing of the bobbles of the upper crust got me thinking about jewelery. When I got back to the office, somehow my fingers typed in Tiffany's on the internet and I've been oohing and ahhing jewelery ever since. Not that I can afford a bit of it, but it's still one of those things I strive for someday. Sometimes it's fun it window shop for your future.

HRH

The Prom and other thoughts evoked by viewing "Higher Ground"

I finally saw it. The Canadian show about a bunch of troubled teens attending a special highschool in the middle of the Rockies. M has been hooked on the show for many months now, and would tell me all about it when I would get home from teaching Monday nights. My schedule being what it is, I figured I'd never get to see it.

This morning, I saw it. A school full of lots of troubled, but very pretty, highschoolers pouting their way through the mountains. Jewel from Firefly was on it (playing a recovered Goth, no less), not looking as coiffed as usual, but still very cute (layers do very good things for her). Also looking cute was a nineteen-year-old Hayden Christensen. No cape, but still not hurting my eyes one little bit.

In this episode, HC's character Scott had progressed to a point where he was ready to go home, so there were many tearful good-byes. I couldn't help making comments like "Why be so sad. He's leaving to become a Jedi."

Anyway, it was also an episode about the prom. To preface the following, I'm in a pretty sulky mood today. The weather is grey, my sleeping schedule is out of wack thanks to a bout of insomnia on Sunday night, and I'm dieting so I can't just eat my way out of feeling glum. Throughout my life it's been very true that if I'm upset or sad, it can all be solved by feeding me and putting me to bed. Tired + Hungry = Sulky. Food + Rest = Happy.

I also have a nasty habit of picking my lower moments to get down on myself. Like last night as I was falling asleep I said to myself "You're so full of it. You talk so much crap all the time, sound so convincing and then you pull a 180 and claim your right to change." Kind of like that line in Tori's "Taxi Ride": "Sure you talk the talk when you need to. I fear the whole world is starting to believe you." Why am I full of it? This very fall I had a long conversation with Mike about my nature and why I was reluctant to go home and "settle" as I put it. I sounded so sure of myself. so sure that I wanted the roaming life, a life full of living in new places and all the adventures that come with it. Now, a matter of mere months later, I find myself wanting to buy a home and nest. To have all my belongings in one place and paint the walls of that place blue. Pulling a switcheroo like that on my goals does not really fit in with the ideal individual I strive to be. The flighty are rarely great.

Wow, lots of preamble for a rant about the prom, no? In Canada we don't call them proms, or at least not in Kingston. We call them formals. I went to three formals in highschool. One of which I went to with my closest girlfriends and had a lovely time, another I'll talk about later and the last one I went to with a guy who I was basicaly set up with so there'd be 3 couples in the limo. I think he agreed because he get a free ticket to the formal out of it. I hosted the pre-formal cocktail party at my house and hence had free admission for myself and a date. I was promptly ditched as soon as we got on the boat (both the formals I went to at my highschool were held on a boat that toured all around the lake and river while highschool kids got drunk and threw up over the railings). I didn't like the guy in a romantic way, so it wasn't heart break. He was a friend, and he was the tallest guy in school, so at least I have photos of me looking short with someone. It's not something I'm hugely bitter about but it stung at the time. Sadly it's the first memory that springs to mind when I think about formals in highschool. Which is a bit of a boo-urns.

And it really shouldn't be. Because I had one of those TV dream type formal nights in highschool. Of course it was at a different highschool's formal. This formal happened the day before graduation and it was (thankfully) not on a boat but at a marina. At this formal I met a boy who I would date for the following year. While that relationship ended in a sad way, I remember it with a smile. It began with a great night. Neither of us were really drinking as we were both pretty broke (I'd spent all of my money on having my hair and make-up done--I looked very glamorous). But it was a great time. We were dancing like idiots, talking until 4 in the morning on his parents boat while we both tried to find all the bobby pins that were holding my hair up (there were like 100 of them) and he was a perfect gentleman and a very sweet guy.

I went to 4 major formals and about 5 minor formals in University. I had some great times there that made me discount my theory that I have a special occasions curse.  Even at the Arts formal when M and I both had the flu but were determined to go to the formal anyway, I couldn't say that I'd had a bad time. That was the time when Mike took the now famous "European Wedding Photo." Or the time when Mum and I made a huge ball skirt that matched the burgundy lining of M's floor length jacket. We looked pretty awsome. I love getting dressed up for events and making a fuss of things. I could write a weeks worth of blogs on the dresses my mother has made for these events.

Isn't interesting how you can start a post feeling sulky and forlorn about being snubbed at your highschool formal and through the process of remembering feel better about the things that were making you blue. Sure tall guy sucked for doing that, but in comparison to all the other formals I've been to, it's no big. The SciFormal with Mike, my swing dancing friend and the strapless dress that defied gravity, was a great time in the midst of a hard fall. The flu ridden Arts Formal in a blizzard with M, was wonderful and romantic, even though we both were trying our best to hold dinner down. As was the SciFormal the following year where the we went withmost of the GW kids and were able to keep the great decorations great in our minds because we left before they could be ripped to shreds. And the last ArtsFormal, where M overcame his hatred of songs with counting and slow danced with me, dispite my 3 inch heels. It was also the formal where a friend came up to me and said "Chelsea, I'm gay man, but I have to say you look hot tonight." Now who could feel sullen remembering things like that.

HRH

On the precipice of complete

Strange. I have a mere two paragraphs of my most recent lesson plan to finish. I have the notes for it laid out. All I need to do is actually put it in proper form. There's really no brain work to be done here. Yet I can't bring myself to do it. So very un-me. What am I avoiding. Am I avoiding it so well that I can't actually see it. Sneaky devil I am.

HRH

The perils of elongated muscles

Yesterday I kicked off my exercise regimine. I did my first sesson of Pilates mat work (realizing that I'm nowhere near bendy enough to do it all yet) and I'm a bit stiff today, but not in the usual places (save a sore neck from looking at the TV when I should be rolling like a ball). This has me thinking that I did it right as the program is supposed to lengthen your muscles and not create bulk while making you strong. Thanks again Kari for hooking me up with this. It will be a nice compliment to Belly dancing and walking. I've decided to cut out high impact activities for awhile and give my knee a chance, in earnest, to heal. I'm hoping that with the diet, pilates, walking and dancing I'll firm things up without accelerating my journey towards a cane.

So here goes.

HRH

What ARE my neighours watching?

One of the drags of living in an apartment that was once a huge luxurious living space that was chopped into smaller living spaces by the communists, is that the walls in some places aren't very thick. Add in the fact that our neighbours are an older (read: slighly deaf) couple, and that fact that their TV is right up against the thin little wall that separates our apartments and you have a situation where we always know what they're watching on TV. Our neighbours next door have some seriously bad taste.

TV in the Czech Republic is pretty bad. True, there are no reality shows, but somehow they only seem to show the worst of American sitcoms, soap operas and movies that have been dutifly dubbed into Czech. There are a couple of bright spots in a couple of Austrian and German cop shows (Komisar Rex, an Austrian show about a really cute and smart German Sheppard police dog and Cobra 11, a show with a massive budget about crimes committed on the Autobahn. It's much more fun to say the name for Cobra 11 is German, for those of you who can), but generally the TV landscape is awfully grim. In fact, one recent German import has had us laughing about it for a good day now, and we've yet to watch an episode. It's called "Hamburg-city of fear." Clearly not developed by the City of Hamburg tourism authority. I have no idea what the show is about, but anytime I see or hear the name Hamburg, it's all I can think about.

Now we can't claim to be paragons of good TV watching. So when I say that the people next door watch crap, that's saying a lot. M has a sick facination with teleshopping, I used to be hooked on South American soap operas, we're both suckers for what we've called "The pain show", which is a Czech version of "America's Funniest Home Videos" and almost all the videos involve someone hurting themself in a funny way and we usually will watch TV shows from North America that we'll never admit to watching... even under oath... just because they're from home. It amazing how many "big" actors have acted in really horrible projects before they were big.

So given this 5 channel vacuum of taste you can imagine how much it means to us when Mike sends us tapes of good TV from home. Without our fix of Buffy, Angel, Firefly (sniff), Friends, Scrubs and Enterprise (I kind of like it... sorry), we've be pretty sad and mopey characters. We had some friends of ours over on Friday night, one of whom was American, so we watched a couple of episodes of Friends. And we watched everything. The theme song, the commericals, everything. Why? Becuase it was like a connection to the world we're far away from. While living here is fantastic there are still days when you miss the New World and there's nothing that would comfort you more than buying a large poutine and a large milk, sitting down in your big comfy chair and watching Simpsons and TNG re-runs, Entertainment tonight and The Osbournes. That said I'm going to turn on my T.V. here. Columbo is on, an even in Czech it still makes me feel a little like home.

HRH

Discovery

My amazing Clie diet program also has an exercise feature. Meaning I can include things like doing the laundry or walking to work and back in my calorie count. If I had a dog to bathe, I could count that too. The most interesting way of burning calories I've found in the list has to be under "Personal Leisure," where there is one activity: Sex. I can input the insensity of my personal leisure at a variety of levels, with "Light (kiss and hug)" burning 38 calories for a 30 minute session or "Vigorous" buring a whole 57 calories in 30 mintues.

I'm not sure how vigorous the programmers of the system were, but I think that having sex vs. kissing and hugging would be a bigger difference than 19 calories. Especially when ironing clothes for the same time burns 88 calories. Maybe I'm just lazy at the ironing board.

HRH

More childish thoughts

Like an attack of karma, my boss brought her very cute baby into work today, and I swear the cute little thing in a pink jumper thumbed her nose at my last post to say "Ha! You think you don't like kids. I'll show you. I'll be cute and well behaved and have adorable little baby feet." Of course, I missed the puking incident, which I'm sure would have had an effect. The bottom line is, I was a bit harsh in my earlier assessment of kids. I know a couple of very cool ones (Stephanie's girls Ashleigh and Laura, Andrew & Ann's Mariah and I'm sure Michelle and Tom's little one will be a certified cute-e-pie), but I still don't think I want to have any of my own. So I'll amend my earlier statment: Generally speaking, I don't like children. I'm usually very nice to them, but I don't generally choose to be around them. And I think that's perfectly reasonable. Yet somehow I feel like I've just told the world that I club baby seals for fun. Sigh, politics.

HRH

Finally a reason to procreate

I don't like children. Like, really don't like children. While most people see these cute and endearing creatures working their way towards adulthood, oohing and aahing at every jump, giggle and gurgle, I see short, tactless people who can't go to the bathroom by themselves. I'm not sure why I dislike them, as I've noticed that it goes pretty strongly against the grain of society to honestly dislike kids. But the fact remains that kids fail to impress me.

With this knowledge of my distain in hand, I decided a couple of years ago that I do not want to have children. I find the whole idea of pregnancy terrifying, am too selfish to consider making the sacrifice that is good parenting and am pretty sure that I'd be a dreadfully oppressive parent. Sure the idea of choosing a name and shopping for the little one seems like fun, but that's really not remotely representative of what being a parent is. So my dna will not be passed on. It's not like there's a lack of people in the world. I respect and am awed by people who have kids. I'm amazed at what they do and believe that they are ultimately better suited to it than I am. So props to them.

While M is currently with me on the no kids boat, he (and many others, most of whom are women) is suprised at my certainty in this issue. Sure I've heard the clock tick from time to time, but I've always been able to reason myself out of it. I've always been able to find piles more reasons not to have kids than reasons to. However, last night I saw something that made me think "Hey, if I had a child, I could buy them something as cool as this. Yep, that's my reasoning. Have kids so you can shop for them. I'd be a horrible mother, but I damn cool eccentric Aunt.

HRH

While you were sleeping

This is the last I will mention of it. Thank you Mike. Now as promised, something else.

Things have been a little slow this week. I feel like I woke up this morning after a 4 day period of haziness. I started organizing things and getting the house pack into proper order. Apparently it was a dramatic reversal which prompted M to comment something like "Having an anal fit this morning?" as he came out of the shower. And I think it's true. I am getting more obsessive about being organized.

There's this new program I got with my Clie called Balance Log. It's basically a diet program that requires you input everything you eat (it has menus with almost every food you can imagine as well as menus from all the big North American fast food chains), how much you exercise (it doesn't have a choice for Pilates, so I'm going to have to find out how much a session burns) and how many calories you can eat per day and still meet your weight loss goal. It's totally fun. Though there are some odd things in the food menus. For example, under fruit juices I can choose (if I've consumed it) "Herbal Wisdom Juice." Huh? Regardless, I can also add in new foods and exercises.

It's interesting. It even tells you if you're starting within your healthy weight range (which I am) and gives you a realistic goal for losing the weight. My goal is to lose 5 kg by April 5th, which puts me at a rate of losing about .4 kg a week. This requires that I do moderate exericse for 2 hours each week (which I think I'll easily exceed) and that I not consume more than 1660 calories in a day. I just can't get over how cool it is. The program will tell me how much fiber, sodium or saturated fat I have in my diet. It's a very fun toy. And I'll be even more impressed if I manage to meet my goal.

HRH

Gah! 2, Electric Boogaloo

I'm trying to learn how to use style sheets, as pretty much every html helper I've read has told me that the best way to solve my problem is to use a style sheet. And really, I should use one. Mike suggested that I set one up when I did the first part of the overhaul (even gave me really great instructions on how to do so in usual Mike style). But I didn't. Because why? Because I'm a big retard. I was scared of the unknown and I still am. Even worse, I can't upload the style sheet to thefalseidol now because the wonderful program Dreamweaver is back in Canada. What's a girl to do? Will I ever find a link colour that works on both backgrounds? Will I ever get my life back and stop writing about inane things like html and jetlag? Will I ever stop having dry feet? Will I ever be able to do all my shopping at one store? Only time will tell.

HRH

It's a mystery

I have no idea how it happened, but problem one solved itself while I went out to lunch. Who knew that a farmer salad coud fix background colour? And fix it spontaneously! There's no way this can last.

I've spent the better part of this morning trying to learn about css style sheets, tables and web ready colours, but with little success. I know that I need to learn these things to be able to change the colour of the links in the left column, but it feels like overkill. More accurately, it feels like I'm a big retard.

HRH

Ugh

Apparently you can't use the force to edit html. I'm presently way over my depth trying to fix the 2 issues my blog seems to have. First the good news. I have archives back. You'll see them in the ugly grey bars to the left. Of course, since I still have not sorted out how to have a different link colour in my sidebar, you have to hover over them with your mouse to see what they actually say.

So here is where I make an appeal for help. If some of the html inclined readers of this page (Mike, Susan...) could help me with one or both of the following issues I would be so happy.

1) How does one create a different link colour on the side bar?
2) How does one get the blogger archives program to accept the bg colour of 627999?

I'm going to go outside and yell for a little while and then try to tackle it again.

HRH

Welcome back Kotter

I have to be sure to put this all in the right order. I'm back in Prague now, after what seemed like the longest transAtlantic flight EVER. Of course M can sleep through the apocolypse, so I got to watch him sleep for 4 hours, while I slaved over my Czech homework. Boo-urns. Anyway, we made it back. It seemed really hard to leave Canada this time. Even though I was really sick for the last half of this trip, I had a really great time. I already miss my family, Mike and Dawn, the shopping, digital satellite, portable internet access and Jedi Outcast (oh how I miss you!). Still as I walked in the door, there was my Zeus meowing hello to me. In spite of all the wonderful cats I hung out with this holiday (Aristotle, Calypso, Indigo and Abigail), I still think that Zeus is the best cat ever, like a good Kitty-mom should.

We're pretty much unpacked now and I'm very happy to report that my Cile works just wonderfully with my computer. I napped for most of the afternoon, hopefully trouncing what's left of the cold in my chest. I cough really pretty right now. Amazingly, I'm still tired so I may be able to kick the jet lag (which I rarely get flying this way). I had a great time at home, and I'm thinking the time to return is somewhere around the corner. No promises, but home is a pretty great place. Thank you to everyone for making it such a kick ass holiday. God I miss Jedi Outcast.

HRH

Cribbing and Wishing

Does looking back and looking forward mean that you're rooted in "the now?" Anyway, I couldn't decide if I wanted to do resolutions (I don't usually) or if I wanted to crib Mike's New Year's lessons, so I'm going to do both, which should end up reading like my usual blathering.

Past: Being an adult means accepting that things will not be perfect all the time.
Future: I want to be less devestated when things aren't perfect, but not lose my desire to improve and strive for perfection. Sigh.

Past: People will always be quick to point out your mistakes.
Future: Care less.

Past: Home is where your cat is.
Future: Bring your cat closer to your friends.

Past: Over-eating is a product of boredom.
Future: Be bored less.

Past: Friends who get you make the ordinary extrodinary.
Future: Live closer to them.

Past: Heroes are wonderful in fantasy and in reality.
Future: Tell heroes in reality that they are great.

Past: Belly dancing makes me happy.
Future: Dance more.

Past: I will never be as skinny as the super tiny Czech girls are.
Future: That's a-okay. Snap the skinny bitches in two if they give you any attitude.

Past: I'm a nerd.
Future: Bask in it.

Past: Premium make-up is SO much fun.
Future: Keep working hard to afford it.

Past: One form of bliss is waking up with your boy and your cat on a Saturday morning.
Future: Keep working hard to have mornings like that.

HRH

Lots to say

Our journey begins on December 31st. My plan was to get up nice and early and drive to Toronto for three days and catch an afternoon showing of Attack of The Clones in IMAX. Sadly my case of the plague had me doubting if I could stand up long enough to walk to the kitchen let alone handle the 3 hour drive to Toronto. So I took a nap, letting go of my hopes of seeing Star Wars on a projector whose light can be seen from the moon. I napped and took a great deal of non-drowsy cold medication and made my way to The Big Smoke.

I made it to Toronto, listening to a mix of belly dancing music, Tori, Groove Armada, Muse B-sides, No Doubt and Sophie. I love multi-disc changers. I hooked up with M and we made for Mike and Dawn's for our NYE festivities. We were joined by Andrea, Dave, Gail, Nick and Natasha. We played something I think was called Monkeyball on the gamecube, a survivor like version of Trivial Pursuit (without the thongs...at least as far as I know), ate astounding amounts of sushi and chocolate and taught Mike that Ouija boards aren't laid out like keyboards (a,b,c,d,e...).

Waking up on New Year's Day we were all happy to learn that drinking reasonably means that you don't have a hangover the next day. We celebrated our good sense with breakfast cupcakes and then trotted off to see a great film: Chicago. Having never seen the Broadway version, I have no basis of comparison. Mike told me that Bebe Newerith was a superior Velma on the stage, but CZJ did a pretty sweet job. It was a great film with a great text. Very Fosse!

The rest of the trip entailed gift giving with M's family (I was totally spoiled), shopping with M, Mike and Dawn and a great gathering for M's birthday at a U of T pub. I made my way back to Kingston in a snow storm today. It had been a mild visit to Canada with not a flake of snow in sight. Last night piles of snow was dropped on south-eastern Ontario and it has yet to let up. Driving home was tiring, but I counted myself lucky as I passed accident after accident on the highway.

One thing I did notice while I was hurtling through the snow, past all kinds of cars that were stuck in the left lane, going much slower than I was (but that's another blog), I saw an interesting landmark just north of Kingston. It's amazing how many times you can drive past something and not notice it. It's called The Rivendell Golf Club. Their motto "Where the elves come and play." Can you imagine Elrond reaching for the nine iron? Anyway, it was a nice couple of days. It's nice to be back with my folks.

HRH