How to be a Jackass

This post is not about how amused I am by the show "Jackass" or about how totally wrong that amusement is.

It's power conservation time here in Ontario. Lights are dimmed in stores, people with windows are foregoing air conditioning and people in apartments are turning them up a notch. Much loved appliances like dishwashers, washing machines and dryers should only be used between 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. (if possible, hang things on a clothes line), use microwaves instead of ovens and take showers instead of baths.

There is some speculation if the era of gratuitous power consumption is over. Our ever growing population sure sucks back a whole lotta energy. Indeed a paradigm shift from the thrifty watching their power use to everyone watching their power use is on it's way.

Today, there are still threats of rolling blackouts. I've just stared at the mountain of laundry that needs to be done and gone back to the age old tradition of handwashing my dishes. The rents have started work at 7 a.m. and come home at 3 p.m. in an effort to ease the dinner time power drain. In fact, at the hospital where my mother works, she was sent home around 2 p.m. because we were on the verge of using more power than we had. I'm doing my miniscule part to save power and am waiting until 9 p.m. to have the shower that I've really been needing all day.

Knowing this you can imagine my disgust when an elderly neighbour of ours started using some sort of outdoor vacuum on his lawn and driveway. I thought to myself "maybe it's gas powered?" but as my mother walked to the end of the driveway to take a peak, she clearly saw that this device was plugged in.

First of all... who the heck vacuums their lawn? I mean really. You have to wonder if this massive power problem is caused by a North American nesting instinct that compels us to buy and use really pointless powered shit. A lawn vacuum? Second...the entire area is at risk for rolling blackouts. We're in a power consumption crisis and have been asked to use power sparingly on the basis of necessity. There is just nothing that I can imagine that makes vacuuming your lawn a necessity. Did I mention that I haven't showered yet?

The best part was when my father walked over to his man's home and politely let him know about the power situation to which the man yelled, like loud enough so that we could hear it 5 houses away "I KNOW!" and the turned his lawn vacuum on again. When my father returned to our lot he pulled his pocket knife out of his pocket and said "I really wanted to just cut the cord on that thing."

Today's sing-a-long song: "Neighbourhood" by Ugly Kid Joe

HRH