It wasn't supposed to be this way

If were doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I'd be writing an article about a wonderful fundraising campaign for the mentally disabled in the Czech Republic. Heck, if I was really doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing, I'd either be busting my ass for some arrogant flim producer while trying to scrape together a film carrer, involved in some sort of higher education in the hopes of opening a clinical psychology practice or messing up my hands practicing double bass having made it work as opposed to love. Interesting ideas, however I'm here. Procrastinating here. Being overwhelmed by the scent of mint (someone made tea) and wishing I could leave early and read a book on a picnic blanket on a grassy hill somewhere.

Wow, that sure is a lot of mint I'm smelling. Which is making my head spin, but it as welcome change from the smell of sweaty people that presently pervades the city.

HRH

I am a hero

I have saved Kari. That makes everything worthwhile. Now I'm going to IKEA again. Yay!

HRH

Habit forming

Must...stop.. beginning... posts... with... "so."

HRH

An unending source of amusement

So M just came down to my office to procrastinate, which worked really well, since that was exactly what I was doing. As we were the only ones in my office as everyone else was in a meeting or out, we decided to have some fun. Not that, gutter-brain! We went to one of my favourite sites bored.com where you can play the "what cartoon charater or dictator am I?" or "Create your own band." Which M did, and we even got to hear it play. It was funky. So I did a little chair dancing (not that kind, pervert-pants) and had a good laugh.

People talk about the internet and how wonderful it is to have so much access to information and how you can disseminate ideas in nanoseconds. I think that's cool, but I think it serves an even better purpose, giving us instant access to things that make us laugh.

HRH

Having one of those moments

So I'm doing that fun thing where you follow a link of a friends blog and then follow another link of that blog to a blog of someone you've never met and totally don't know. Imagine my suprise to come to a blog where this young girl is descrbing this story about her friend Chelsea (not me). A Chelsea who has a cat named Chanel. Now I know I don't have a cat named Chanel, but if anyone should have a cat named Chanel...

Anywho, I'm getting over the fact that there are other people in the world with the same name as me. People who are possibly just as distinct and special as I am (wow that hurt to type). But I still felt strange reading about this other girl. Like it was some kind of out of body experience, and I was in fact living another life in Kitchener with two cats and a bat problem. I know there's another person in the world with the same name as me (which I find so weird since my last name isn't normal AT ALL) and I think that if she and I were to come face to face there would be some kind of rip in the fabric of space. Or at least a horrible blow to our respective egos.

HRH

Identity crisis

So it seems that I'm a kung-fu hero:

I am Kung Fu Master. I like to be in control of myself. I dislike crowds, especially crowds containing people trying to kill me. Even though I always win, I prefer to avoid fights if possible. What Video Game Character Are You?

I've decided it's a little bunk as the flavour quiz said that I'm peanut butter! ME! I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. What the hell is that supposed to mean. I'm a danger to myself?

I taste like Peanut Butter. I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?

I am also Sugar:

I am sweet, like Sugar. I am all sweetness and light; fluffy bunnies and dancing fairies; happiness and joy. Too much of me will make you sick. What Flavour Are You?

Sigh. Not only do I hate people... but they hate me too.

HRH

The Sweetest Thing

It's amazing where revelations come from. Last night, Kari, Wendy and I saw The Sweetest Thing. A gross out chick flick as it were. No aliens or wizards but I did laugh occaisonally and was heartily icked at other parts. At one point (I think it was just after the penis song) Kari turned to me and said "that's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen." and normally I'd agree except I took experiemental film in Univiersity and the things I saw there have scarred me for life. Not that this movie didn't give it a good go. I mean, Jason Bateman singing Eternal Flame...

Anyway, the movie did get my brain moving. Frist of all it sovled my hair dilemma. I have to say that I really liked Christina Appelgate's hair. I think it put in a great performance (why don't they give out awards for that. Not like best hair and make-up, but best performance by a head of hair. Sure it can be beautifully coiffed, but it's all about how you work it). So I'm thinking I'm going to find a photo of it on the internet and print it (hopefully with colour) and take that to the salon and say "make it so" (hopefully I won't end up bald).

Secondly, I think people should dance more. In the street, at work, at home, everywhere. I think we'd all be less grouchy if life was a little bit more like Fame. Imagine if life was actually a musical. Maybe that's why we all like Once more with feeling so much. It gives us a glimpse of what life would be if we sang about big issues and the mudane. Sure we'd be bursting into flame and all, but talk about venting. So next time you have something to get off your chest...sing it off. That's what Wendy does. She's the all time master of making up songs for everything. And I bet that has a lot to do with her cheery disposition.

Finally, moments of personal joy. I used to think that my favourite thing to do when I was having a bad day was to eat ceasar salad while having a bath (there, proof that I'm a total nut), but the movie made me realize that I've been blind to other possibilties. While I don't think I'm up for the ice cream and oral sex that was shown in the flim (the female equivalent of watching the hockey game, drinking a beer and getting a... well, you know), as it has the potential to be messy and you might choke. I think that I would be a willing participant in a full body massage/sushi dinner or hair cut and styling/poutine fest. It's an easy thing to figure out. Take your favourite low imapct relaxing activity (a bath, massage, hair styling) and pair it with one of your favourite foods that you can't often eat (either becuase of price or diet) and POW! instant fantasy gratification.

Mix that, a little dancing in the street and personal stylists for everyone and this would be a happier world.

HRH

Evil imac

Normally I'm extalling the virtues of the pretty blue imac we have in our office. It's stylish design, the cute clicky noises it makes when I open a program or it's ability to let me design pretty things. But today I'm am unhappy with little blue. After reading Mike's blog about movie trailers I thought I might head over to apple.com/trailers myself and catch up. But this computer has a glitch. No matter how many times you intstall it, it never really believes that it has quick time. I have a launcher program on this computer and one segment is devoted to quick time 6. Sometimes I even move the application button onto the desktop or have the applicaion open when I go to the trailers sight. But it is always to no avail. I get a message "quicktime 5 required to view this trailer" and I have it and version 6. What the hell is up? I'm getting sick of having to download quicktime every time I want to watch a trailer, but it seems to be what I'm doomed to do. Gah!

HRH

Serious Decisions

So I've come into a little bit of money. Very little, like 50 Euros, which is about 50 US, or like 70 Canadian. Not a great deal of money, but just enough to treat myself. Which was the point of me getting the money in the first place. It's birthday money and I think it's only appropriate for me to spend it. So there.

Of course, now that I have it, I need to decide what to spend it on. I was looking through my beauty wish list, thinking I could spend it on products. But then I was thinking I could use it to go to a salon and treat myself to a massage or body wrap.

There's also the possibility of using the money for home improvement. I'm big on this idea right now because we went to IKEA yesterday (M did let me buy a thing or two, just because it was cute!) and got a bright orange rug for the bathroom (trust me, it works). So I've got the decorating bug. At IKEA we saw place settings (aka dishes) in reasonably priced sets. I have to confess I was torn. At present we use dishes that were graciously donated by M's family here, but they don't match. The bowls don't match the sacuers and we haven't a tea setting to save our lives. Is this important in life? Some would say no. I would say yes.

I had my china pattern picked when I was 16 years old (Royal Dalton, Sarabande - White with a black pattern close to the edge and the silver around the edge. Formal, but me.). When I moved into by first place on my own, my mother (wise women that she is) bought me a charming set of dishes in my favourite blue with fish painted on them. I miss my fish, and my cups and tea pot and matching egg holders. I know that it is ridiculous to carry plates across the atlantic, but my stuff was cool.

So here I am. Living here for an indefinite amount of time and wanting to get some dishes I'd be proud to eat off of. Of course we live in limited space and we never really know what's next. Does it make sense to purchase something like plates? At the same time, even though one cannot know how permanent things are, does that mean one should always live as though things are temporary? Is it wrong to commit to china? Am I thinking about this WAYYYYY too much?

HRH

Smackdown!

So today I got cranky mail for the first time in my brief writing carrer. No it wasn't from someone complaining about my spelling (anyone stumped about a birthday present for me could buy me Blogger pro, with spell checker and save everyone some pain), but from a grumpy British guy. He wrote it to my editor, which is fine and he tried to take me down, point for point, which might have worked had any of his points been correct. The basic gist is that said man is bitter that I write to a North American audience. Yes I know there are British expats in Prague, but the differences between North American an British journalism are such that I'd have to write two totally different articles. So today I don't like British people. I'm thinking of starting a campaign to have Canada leave the commonwealth, just because I'm spiteful. The most irritating part is that this man was addressing me by my first name in the letter. Maybe I'm from the old school of manners, but when you are addressing or referencing someone in the written form and you do not know them, you address them formally. Aka Mr or Ms. But no, Mr. Grumpy addressed me as Chelsea (spelling it wrong once, and he calls himself British), adding insult to his reactionary and ill-planned arguments. Snotty-ass pretentous loser.

There, now I feel better. Other than that, I've been having an okay day. I had one of those mornings where getting dressed was going to be an issue, and it was. 5 outfits later I made it out the door. We finished Buffy season 2 last night and I really think that I hate Xander. He's just a big ID walking around saying only need/want things. M says I don't like him because he's the most real of any character. I just don't like him becuase he's a mouthy jerk. A shameless mouthy jerk. I guess that makes him like a lot of people in the real world, which I'm sure is why I'm a misanthrope. At least towards the British.

HRH

Full moon, empty head

No wonder I feel so wacky today. It's a full moon tonight. Look out fo warewolves (sp?). I'm thinking I used up all my blogging words yesterday, which would explain why I can't think of anything to say today. Tomorrow it will be a month to my birthday. It's on a Tuesday. I know it's not possible, but my birthday always seems to be on a Tuesday. I remember it being on a Saturday a couple of years ago, and crazy friday night with Mike, Jason, Andrew and a Barney shaped ice cream cake (caaaakke). Maybe it just seems like every day is Tuesday. Like the Smiths song, but with a different day and no Morrissey. Of course, I was born on a friday and you all know what that means... The full moon is making me wacky and I'm making no sense.

HRH

More votes

Apparently I shouldn't be discounting the Tomato Red Streaks option as another vote has come in for it. A rather flattering and convincing argument from a friend of Andrew's stated that "you shouldn't discount bright tomato red streaks without trying it first. It's clearly the coolest option mentioned." He then suckered me in with "bright tomato red highlights? They could only be pulled off by someone with confidence, with coolness--a touch of punk edginess mixed with sophication."

Sure I've never been punk, but I've spent my time in Gothville and they're not such distant neighbours. Granted the punks always threw crap on the artfully manicured victorian Goth front lawns, but we all agreed that it was better than the preppy suburbs. The vote ended with a very punk persuasion trick of accusing me of being old " Plus, it's something that you can only do while you're young enough to be able to pull off attitude. Unless you're saying that you're too middle aged, which of course is perfectly understandable."

Sigh. I can just imagine the look of horror on my mother's face, my sister telling me it's totally cool and my father telling me I look like an idiot. Good thing they all live 6000 km away. Of course tomato red is a serious test of cool. Am I up for it?

HRH

Sonnets

I've never been a big fan of Shakespeare. I like the comedys and love Macbeth like a good Scottish girl should, but I'm not a fan of much else. I went to lunch today and decided that I needed something to read as I waited for my farmer's salad (very yum). So I borrowed a book from M. A little book of Shakespear's sonnets. Sure that I wouldn't like it, as it has no wizards or aliens, I took it just to see if I could make sense of it at all.

Well, I was able to make a little sense of it. He seems like a really bitter guy who doesn't like it when women get old, or when they're too young and lovely. Pretty jaded it seems. I did, however, find one that was rather touching and reflective of my life as I live far away from many loved ones. So I'll write it here. I'm not sure what it's called, but in this book it's 44:

If the dull substance of my flesh were thought,
Injurious distance should not stop my way;
For then despite of space I would be brought,
From limits far remote, where thou dost stay.
No matter then although my foot did stand,
Upon the farthest earth removed from thee;
For nimble thought kills me that I am not thought,
As soon as think the place where he would be.
But ah, thought kills me that I am not thought,
To leap large lengths of miles when thou art gone,
But that, so much of earth and water wrought,
I must attend time's leisure with my moan;
Receiving naught by elements so slow
But heavy tears, badges of either's woe.

HRH

Hair update

At present we have 7 votes for red and 1 for blond. One person suggested that I actually put bright red (like the colour of a tomato) streaks in my hair. Their vote has been discounted...

HRH

Land of the silver birch, home of the beaver...

I was trying to think of a lullaby last night and could only remeber one verse of one my mother used to sing to me (called Pigeion House) and felt like I was getting old. As I was trying to recall songs of my youth I remember this song we used to sing in school called Land of the silver birch, which was your basic nature loving native song. Has a lovely melody though. It made me really want to go camping or canoeing and see trees and rocks. I guess as much as I embrace Europe, I'll always be a nature lovin' Canadian inside.

That and beavers are like, the coolest animal. When M and I were at the Alpin Zoo in Innsbruck I spent most of my time just watching all the beavers in their mini habitat. They rock. I'm not an environmentalist, but the only time I got mad at my parents, like openly, was when my father bought my mother a Linda Lundstrom (it a chi chi older Canadian ladies thing) coat that had beaver pelt lining around the hood. I'm not anti-fur, or anti-leather, but I think it's pretty cool that technology is such that we can create synthetic fibres that keep us just as warm as animal skins do, so that nothing needs to die.

I guess it just came down to the fact that I really like beavers. Minks, all they do is breed, cows deplete the ozone layer with their flatuence and are kind of dumb animals (they make me laugh hysterically though) but beavers, they do stuff. The build dams and saturate the soil, they work hard and are pretty independent. I like to think that if any animal were to adopt a social system that the beaver would adopt capitalism.

My affection for beavers aside, this wasn't actually the point of my blog (I like penguins too). I'm very happy that my native land (home of the beaver) is on the brink of being free from the so-called leadership of megelomaniac J.C. I can only hope that someone exists in Canada that can actually lead the country. Odds are on Paul Martin, which I guess is the lesser of most evils. He's a Liberal (that's the name of the party as well as the ideology for US readers), but he has an inkling of fiscal responsibility and doesn't appear to be crazy. Of course, I'm talking about politicians here. Crazy is pretty much in the job description.

HRH

Hair

I'm having a hair debate. I haven't had a haircut since April. Sin, I know. Even more so for a beauty snob like myself, but my hair is such that it can go months without a cut and the ends stay in good shape. Finally, after 4 months the shape of my cut needs some work (for those who've never seen me, my hair is straight, brown, long and layered). I've been a good spender this month in that I've spent a lot less than I usually do (yesterday's shopping aside) so I'm thinking of indulging in a little colour.

I don't need to colour my hair, and I often get compliments on having such a nice natural colour. During my University days I tended to channel my life choices through my hair. So much so that when I'd show up with something different people would ask "so what's up now?" It took me a good 3 years to grow out the remaining red from my summer of "I can be a redhead too" (no I can't). The remains of that summer were cut off in April and now I want to trot off to the salon and have highlights put in. Am I mad? Positively. But I need the help of my friends. I need to know if I should highlight red or blond? There's more red in my hair naturally, but there is blond too, so I can go either way.

So I place the two colouring options in the ring and lower the cage. Let me know what you think. Colours take your corners and FIGHT!

HRH

She clings, she's needy, she's also really greedy...

Everyone's got the "Once more with feeling" vibe going on. I could sing that entire episode, in fact I might just do that right now. Wait, I share an office with two other people who I'm postive haven't watched an episode of Buffy in their lifetime, so maybe not.

M made an interesting point last night as we approached the final disc in the Buffy Season 2 DVD. He suggested that we wait to watch "Becoming pts. 1 & 2" until season 3 comes out, so that we don't have that feeling of emptiness while we wait for winter 2003 to roll around. While I understand the squrielling it away philosophy, I also am aware that there is 2 hours of great Buffydom sitting in my home just begging to be watched. Needless to say M is also aware of this fact hence he pointed out that it would be nice to wait, but he knows that we won't.

Also, last night I got drunk. We drank this really nice bottle of northern Italian wine that's actualy gently carbonated. Like a step down from jemne perliva. It was very yummy and easy to drink. And as such I drank lots of it quickly. It was actually a nice drunk. And we have another bottle too! Yeah I know it's lame to write about your drinking escapades, but when you get drunk as rarely as I do it becomes a bit of an event.

HRH

What's with today, today...

So I did a little retail therapy today. I was freking out yesterday for some reason and almost had a panic attack in a nice pub. I'm not really sure why I did, as I was out with the supergirls. Everything seemed really loud and I couldn't concentrate on anything, then things got swirly. My feelings improved once my plate of brocolli arrived (green is soothing...). Still I think Kari's friends think I'm a little strange if not totally bitchy. It was really hard to keep my cool. But I did, so I decided to pay a visit to the mall today.

I needed to go there anyway to do some research on dental care and after a visit to Benetton and Sephora I feel a little bit more like myself. I think tonight I'll use the new facial mask and maybe paint my toenails with the new polish I bought... I need an excuse for the new red halter top, however. I'm sure an opportunity will present itself.

Other than that, I haven't much by the way of profundity (is that a word?). We watched the Straight story on TV last night, which was touching as always. It's a hot and lovely day and I'd like to be boating somewhere, but not here. There's way to much mud, debris and disease to go boating...

Oh and Gaston the sea lion just died.

HRH

Blogger works on my silly little mac

What a wonderful discovery. Well there goes all of my productivity. Anywho, M was kind enough to explain to me where I went wrong with my "I cannot cross..." blog from way back. It is spelt O'er, meaning it is, in fact over with the v missing. Crazy English. So I learned something yesterday.

It's a pretty busy day at work, and while people are trying not to be grumpy, most of them are, which makes me want to pile things up against the door and wait until the pressure is off.

I know it's a strange thing to say, but I'm a little bummed at the future. A rather unlike me thing to comment but I am. There's no big event in the next month or so. Sure I turn 26, but that's not really an event, just a thing that seems to happen every year. I want something to look forward to, something to get excited about. This summer has been, well, less than a thrill ride and I want something to be up about. Feeling blah is really dull.

So I'm hunting for something fun, something to be up about. I guess that's a project in itself.

HRH

Everybody's workin' for the weekend...

Yep, that's a Loverboy song. Shame to you too if you knew that. I'm here at work on a Saturday, writing a Public Service Column for the Flood Relief Fund. Can't you tell. I spent a good part of this morning cleaning up around the apartment and I think I've inadvertently burned a layer of skin off my finger tips with cleaning products. Typing feels very tingly. Once I finish this article I'll be free for the rest of the day. Like totally free. M is off to his Dad's for the night with his Mom so they can hang and do that family thing. I know it sounds really nerdy, but I think I'm going to spend the evening cleaning the carpet (needs it SO badly) and doing laundry. I haven't had a night to myself in a long time (freaking out in Budapest doesn't count) so I'm looking forward to it. There's not much to do in the city anyway as the state of emergency has been called until next Thursday. Because of this working thing this weekend Wendy and I had to back out of the spa trip to Karlovy Vary (boo). Maybe I'll go to a movie, but I did that last night.

M and I saw "About A Boy" which was charming, but got me thinking. It's entertaining to read or see movies made from Nick Hornby books that delve into the minds of men but I feel a little cheated. There aren't movies out there that I can identify with. Most guys I know really connected with High Fiedelity and About A Boy I'm sure has some truth for older single men, but what do non-typical socially-adept-smart-nerd-girls like myself have? Nothing. There's very little I identify with when watching "chick" flicks. The women invovled rarely make decisions I'd make and if they do, it's usually for all the wrong reasons. Why is there no movie or book that addresses the issues that women like me have? The challenges of finding other people who embrace logic, who love and hate the world at the same time, who know how to put an outfit together and have something intelligent to say and who know how to laugh. I've always said that I don't want to write a book, but this void is enough to make me take down some notes. I wonder daily how I ended up in a job where I write so darn much seeing as I'd rather be a publisher than a writer. Someone please write a book that's not in the fantasy section that I'd be interested in reading, or at least write a book about being in your twenties in this time and dealing with all the issues that people my age deal with and throw in an alien or two. Just for me.

HRH

She's got legs

I hate, loathe and dispise this story. Not only is it bad to be tall woman, but also apparently a sin to be a sucessful woman as well. To hell with men that have height insecurities. The wedding I was at in Canada, the bride was a good 3 inches taller than the groom. Clearly a together man. M and I are the same height and though he tends to slouch has never once complained about my height and I think appreciates it (my height that is). Another together man. Mike is dating Dawn, who is almost 3 inches taller than I am, putting her at a wonderous 6'2". Does Mike have issues (well maybe, but not concerning his girlfriend's height)? I proudly say "no, he does not." He, like M, can enjoy the benifit of having a girlfriend who's (and I quote Arron Sorkin) "legs go all the way to the floor." Clearly this study was done by "tiny people" who got their asses whooped on the basktball court.

For once in my life I actually agree with Randy Newman.

HRH

Get your aid on

I know this is mixing work and pleasure, but this is also important and, well, my job. If you're reading this and you're interested in helping out Czech schools and libraires affected by the flood, read on:

The Prague Post Flood Relief Fund for Schools & Libraries

The Prague Post and the Prague Post Endowment Fund are pleased to announce the establishment of a flood relief fund for schools and libraries in flood-damaged communities.

Funds will be used to aid school and community libraries damaged or destroyed by the recent floods. Grants will be given to individual preschools, elementary schools, secondary schools and community libraries with a priority on restocking books and rebuilding damaged structures.

The Prague Post and the Prague Post Endowment Fund have been committed to supporting long-term investment in education in the Czech Republic since 1992. Please join us today.

Contributions can be made to the following bank account:

Account #: 179138148/0300
Bank: CSOB, a.s.
Branch: Jungmannova 15, Praha 1
SWIFT: CEKO CZ PP PRA

For more information, e-mail us at: education@praguepost.com

This is Wendy's baby and I have to say I'm pretty happy to be working with her on this one. We're going to give the money directly to the schools, keeping the state out of it so that we can be sure the money gets there. Not to rag on the state (which I usually do with glee), but by it's nature it has to syphen off some money to cover costs. We're small, and our costs are covered by other programs we run, so it's very easy to have transparency. Also we get to help out schools, which I think are pretty important.

Of course if books aren't your game, and you want to help, check out this page for a list of organizations.

HRH

Flood update

Not very snappy, but informative.

From Cesky Rozhlas (Czech Radio)

The mayor of Prague Igor Nemec has warned the inhabitants of evacuated districts not to return to their homes before they are declared safe. Two four storey houses in the flooded district of Karlin collapsed early on Thursday causing concern over potential casualties. Rescue workers searching the area , said no one appeared to have been hurt in the incident since the houses had been standing empty, slated for demolition. The authorities are now worried about the state of other flood damaged buildings whose inhabitants might have disregarded the evacuation order and remained in their homes.

News that makes me happy...

The London based Economic Intelligence Unit has issued the first overall estimate of the damage caused by the floods in southern and central Bohemia, putting the number at two billion US dollars or 64 billion Czech crowns. The report says that although the damage wrought by the floods is enormous it need not adversely affect the country's economic growth.

And Ew....

A third degree chemical alert was called in the north Bohemian town of Neratovice on Thursday following a leak of poisonous chlorine gas from the flood damaged Spolana chemical factory. The inhabitants of the town were ordered off the streets and warned to keep their windows closed. Chemical experts who measured the amount of chlorine in the air for several hours said evacuation would not be necessary since the amount measured was not considered a health risk. Chlorine is deadly to humans in high concentrations and was used as a chemical weapon in World War One. Greenpeace activists have expressed concern about possible contamination of the river Elbe if poisonous dioxins and 250,000 kg of mercury stored at the Spolana chemical plant should leak.

I'm still dry, and quite fine. Actually slept the last few nights (yay) and I had sushi.

HRH

Ain't no mountain high enough...

Keeping in line with Kari's "songs involving measurements of height" theme (I am so bitter she used "Gonna be startin' somthing" before I did) here is today's entry.

We didn't lose power last night. I just got off IM because Mike didn't respond to my frist message and I waited and then figured he was busy with that "work" stuff that he seems to be doing so much of these days. So nothing deadly going on in that department. It's another sunny day. The flood waters have receeded up to 1.5 meters in some places. Yay. Still many of the Metro stations are totally flooded (one very near my house) and I'm sure the yellow line (B) won't be up and running for a long time. Which isn't so bad for me, but bad for many people who rely on the yellow line (the longest metro line in the city). All it really means for me is that if I want to go to Ikea sometime soon, I'll have to get M to drive me, which means I won't be able to buy as much. Apparently the rationale of "because it's cute" doesn't work on him when I'm shopping for the apartment.

More stores are open today and I've received lots of emails from people in Canada asking if I'm drowning or dying in the "death floods." Really, we're not faking this calm. Yes the floods are tragic, but people are safe and that's the important thing. Most of the city has power, so keep a critical eye on the international media. They did this during IMF as well. It really wasn't portrayed the way it happened. I expect the same of the NATO summit in November.

One really scary thing about the flood is all the chemicals that have spilled into the river. Several major chemical companies have been flooded, so it's safe to say that I won't be swimming in the river any time soon. Ick. Then there are issues of sewage and water treatment. Glad I'm a mineral water drinker and that the britta is working well.

HRH

Godlizza... Try Godzilla

If you ever needed proof of my dyslexia... Anywho, we're back from a nice Mexican dinner and as Kari reported, it is pretty dark in our nieghbourhood, which is actually a refreshing change from the heaps o' light coming in the window. Contrary to international reports, the flood waters are receeding (No offense to the international media, but I'm going to go with the Czech media on this one since they're the ones actually doing all the interviews. Does AP not even check CTK english news service, but I digress). About 10,000 to 15,000 people have been evacuated and some lucky ones are returning to their homes.

Of course we're not out of the woods yet. I walked down to the river today and had a look at the very high, fast water. Dude, I would not want to be swimming in that (flood ickies aside). It was seriously moving and you could see it from way back across the street. I think the most depressing thing is that all the stores are closed. In many cases in places where they don't need to be. People are freaked out, and rightly so, but there's very little hysteria. People here are pretty calm about things, which may be why I'm not as freaked out as people think I should be.

M is watching TV a lot (which makes me think of Signs) and being kind enough to translate the important bits that I'm getting wrong. The government has even set up info lines in English and German. Really, they've done a great job so far... except for the civil rights thing... see Wendy's blog.

HRH

Glurg

If you're reading about the floods on CNN or the BBC, please keep in mind that these organizations like senstaional news, and as such are prone to embelish. I'm not saying they're lying, but they are making the flood look much worse than it is. Granted, the flood = bad, millions of crowns in damage, people displaced from their homes, small sections of the city completely underwater, but most of the city, like 80%, isn't really threatened by the flood. It's interesting. So before you get worried, try and put it in perspective and remember that Prague is big. Moving 50,000 residents is a lot, but most of it is preventative. The city is being quite smart and erring on the side of caution and there are 1.2 million people in the city.

At the Prague Post we've been getting piles of phone calls from foreign media agencies. Whenever the editors play down the flood they're apparently cut off. It seems that these agencies are only interested in the bad news.

M and I recieved a phone call this morning from his parents who'd heard on the radio ot TV that one of the streets that come onto the square we live on was flooding. This was news to us, so I trotted out to see what was up since everything was pretty much business as usual on Senovazne (even the construction guys were there). I walked to the other end of the sqare expecting to see an ominous puddle of water creeping towards my home. It get there, and the street is dry. So I think to myself "maybe the flood water is on its way" so I walk to the end of that street which feeds onto one of Prague's bigger squares Namesti Republiky. No water, and in fact, there's an orchestra in front of the Obecni Dum playing soothing music. Talk about classy.

To be fair, I saw some images on TV this morning of Mala Strana (lesser town) where the water was more than 2 meters deep, meaning up to the rooftops of some houses. Where it's acutally flooded, it's quite serious, but you have to realize that Prague is a really big city, much of it on hilltops and not around the river. It's tragic that the oldest and most appreciated parts of the city are at risk, but you need to consider that there has been a flood like this about every 100 years, so the buildings are maybe used to it. It still blow my mind that a restaurant I was at 3 weeks ago is now completely submerged.

There were some problems at the Zoo, which was being evacuated yesterday as it's in the flooded district of Troja. Apprently an elephant and a Hippo couldn't be rescued and were starting to drown. They had to be shot, which is a shame. I find it strange that I'm more upset about the animals than the 7 or 8 people that have died. Very odd.

It looks like the river is going to keep getting higher for another 12 hours. We're still not really in danger, though M's father's back yard is apparently looking more and more like a swimming pool every hour. He lives on the Sazava river that's flooding as well.

Glurg to everyone

HRH

The water is wide... I cannot cross ore...

I bet that "ore" is spelt differently and that I've made some sort of strange metallurgy joke. Anywho, the river is cresting. Breaking the banks. The Metros are shutting down. Things are generally pretty wet. However, M, Oscar, Zeus and I are quite comfy. We still have power, lots of food, and movies to watch. While my heart goes out to the people who have been evacuated, I'm counting myself as pretty lucky today.

And the river is still getting higher. It's shocking to see it all on TV. Water has made its way to the streets of Karlin, and Kari just sms'ed me as she was crossing the bridge on her way home (what was she thinking!) that the water level is very high. That bridge I was talking about in the previous blog in Pisek, is presently submerged, so should the Charles bridge survive, it will have the trophy of oldest bridge in Eastern Europe.

The news just gave a great window for when the flood is going to culminate. Between 1 and 7 am... great. Also, the soring crown in now crashing again in the markets, thanks to the flood, meaning that I'm not making as much money as I was yesterday. Currency trading blows sometimes...

Will try to keep everyone posted. Fret not, we will be fine, Prague will eventually be fine and maybe the flood will take some of those tacky models of the bridge with it in its wake.

HRH

Rollin' on a river

Just wating for the locusts here. M just called me from home to inform me that we are among the lucky who aren't being evacuated. I knew there were advantages to living on higher ground. Tragically, a great many hotels and restaurants on the river bank are getting soaked. My mother always loved this area just under the Charles bridge, which she affectionately called "Little Venice" for the canal system. That's under water now.

The big flood wave is due at 2 pm. It's going to double the speed of the river, which is already coming along at a pretty quick clip, and total a lot of beautiful scenery and investments. The police are about the blow up a boat that wasn't moved. It's huge and it's a restaurant. The worry is that when the big wave comes it's going to break from its mooring and slam into the Charles Bridge (The second oldest bridge in Eastern Europe - The oldest is in a Czech town called Pisek (translates to Sand) and is apparently all there is to see there) destroying a big part of the Prague economy and beauty. So the explosion should be fun.

While I'm at work, doing very little, the police are broadcasting on these public PA systems that the communists (or Nazis) installed to tell the public horrible things. So every 5 mintues I hear an air raid siren then this somber Czech man informing everyone of the big wave that's on its way. The worst thing is that my depraved mind keeps on making jokes. Like when I hear the air raid siren I think of Mel Brooks in Spaceballs responding to the sirens on Spaceball 1 with "What is this? Paris?." Declasse I know. And all morning I've had Proud Mary in my head, which, for the less mucially inclined is also known as "Rollin' on a river." I haven't started dancing like Tina Turner... yet.

It's rumoured that the power is going to go out soon, and that the GSM networks will crash. M and I went food shopping last night and amazingly enough there was lots of food to be found. Very little hysteria. In Cesky Krumlov there's apparently nothing left in the stores. Happily he have lots of batteries, candles and books.

HRH

My first flood

Not the same as those "my frist rollerskates" things, my first flood is starting now. I've been through Tornados, a Hurricane, many blizzards, thunderstorms while in a boat in the water, hail and seen a volcano (granted not while it was exploding, but just bubbling). This is my first flood, and I'm a little nervous. I've lived most of my life on a lake, which does flood a little in the spring, and the waves sometimes erode the waterfront, but never a river flood, with the gushing water, ripping past you, washing you away to a watery grave.

Prague is ready to be washed over with floods, the likes of which haven't been seen since 1890. The Vltava river is flooding. People in the south of the country are dying and others (who aren't dead) are being evacuated. The best part... it's apparently not going to stop raining until friday. Glad I live on the 3rd floor, though I may have to invest in some rubber boots. Very glad I'm not living in the vally anymore, but would presently like to be on the top of a mountain or something like that.

I'm about to head to the store to do some shopping, which should be much like trying to drive out of NYC when godlizza is in town. Wish me luck...

HRH

Getting there

Well, after travelling some 6000 km, I'm home again. Home in the Prague sense of the word. I think I'm going to have to give up on the idea of home actually being a geographic location and accept that home is just where your cat is. I'm back at work too. Ticking off items on my to do list, blogging when I should be making phone calls appealing for money or writing about this week's survival topic "Dental Care."

At the airport in Dorval, Mum and Dad ever so kindly loaded me up with reading materials for the flight back, which was no where near as nice as the flight to Canada. Yes, business class makes a difference. And why am I always paired with the nice older lady who doesn't know how to use her seat belt. Not that I minded helping, but I just find it strange that this is the fourth time I've been sitting next to someone like this on a plane. Anyway, I scored the most recent Entertainment Weekly (a guilty pleasure), Martha Stewart Living (a wake up call to make sure I don't turn into that. M laughed at me when I said I wanted to make sand candles. He's very healthly for me) and the last Douglas Adams book "The Salmon of Doubt." I started it yesterday and I'm more than half done. I was deeply saddened by his death last year as he was one of the only writers who could mix science-fiction, comedy and philosophy with sucess. It's a book made up of works that were found on his computer after his death. The selections were chosen by his surviving familiy and agent and are a real joy to read. Part of me is afraid to finish it, because it means that it's the end for my favourite author. Of course I can go on reading authors like Neil Gaiman or Terry Prachett, but none of them will be Mr. Adams, none of them will make me giggle in that unrestrained way.

HRH

Homeward bound

Darn, I'm not going to be in Kingston for the backstreet boys tribute band at Lake Ontario Park. I'm crushed... really.

All lothing of the hicktown roots aside, it has been nice to be home. I've done a lot of shopping, watched the same movies over and over and over and over again and seen some dearly missed friends. It hasn't been the most relaxing visit home, but nice none the less. Spending time with my parents has been really nice and they've been great to me. But I'm excited, because in a little over 24 hours I get to lie down in my bed and cuddle with my cat and see M. There really is no place like home.

HRH

Grey and the like

While I've never lived in Vancouver or Toronto, I think it's safe to say that Prague takes the belt and sassily bitch slaps the other competitors. I don't mean to belittle the greyness of Toronto, which I'm sure is amplified by how grumpy everyone is there; or the unending rain that beats down upon Vancover making everyone just a notch or two off normal and everything very green. You see, there are two saving graces for Toronto and Vancouver. Toronto has the very lovely Lake Ontario. Never underestimate the power of water, you'll never understand it until you're missing it. Vancouver has so much green and so many mountains, and the pacific ocean! Sure, the sun would make it perfect, but really, not such a hard done by city.

Now I don't want to go off on Prague. I love Prague. Have lived there happily for 2 years, but the winters are tough. The sun sets way earlier that it did in Canada, no lake, no ocean... a river, yes. Rain, slush, cold. communist era architecture and not a Tim Horton's in sight. Of course, I prefer cloudy days to sunny ones, and I find rainy days romantic (when I'm inside...) so really, I'm right at home. The sun still sets wayyyyy too early.

HRH

Back in the K

Two whole days before I'm on my way home again. Little things still to do, but I'm ready to go. I'm thinking of doing some couch curling today. That doesn't mean tossing couches down a strip of ice and yelling things like "Hard!" but instead napping on one of my parents' very inviting couches. I'm not sure why, but I couldn't sleep in Toronto. Hopefully I'll sort that out tonight. Hopefully I'll get some sleep soon. I haven't had a good sleep in over a week and I think I'm on the verge of seeing things.

Nap time.

HRH

Something in the translation

It's funny. I never realized how many people could mispronounce Kari's name until I got to Canada and talked to people who'd been reading our, now incestuous, blogs.

It was an interesting afternoon in Toronto. I spent most of it on Queen Street West, shopping. I didn't buy anything for me, but a bunch for M. Still hunting the much coveted pluko hair goop, but I will find it, oh yes I will. There were some things I would have bought if I'd had the energy to make it back to Bloor St. but all I could think about was curling up on Mike's couch and watching an episode of Buffy. From the Buffy season 2 DVD that Mike so sweetly gave to me just after I walked in his front door. My friends so rock. He then bought me sushi. I think I almost relaxed.

I don't think I like Toronto. It's bigger than Prague, but not as beautiful. Or maybe its that I can understand all the conversations around me and can hear how inane they are. Living in Prague is good for me because I'm basically oblivious to the stupidity of other people. I rarely feel that twinge of disappointment when people open their mouths, because I can't understand them anyway. I've realized on this trip that living in Prague gives me a kind of extension of my youth. Mike said to me that the attitude is like the one you'd have during summer at school. Which may be why it's so pleasant. People in Canada have mortgages, spouses, babies and oppressive liquor laws (not like I'm a big drinker, but it's totally ridiculous). It just doesn't compare.

Why is it that I idealize the place that I'm not?

HRH

Hicks

I'm in Toronto now, and I just have to tell everyone I've ever met and known about a red truck I saw as I was driving out of Kingston. On the back of the truck it said:

Faster then you.

Kill me.

HRH

Now I'm laughing

This evening's cinema experience was Austin Powers III. Much less scary than signs, but more toilet humour. Much more. I don't think I laughed as hard as the first two. Seeing a movie is sometimes about the people you see it with and seeing AP II with Mike and M was damn hilarious. Still I did laugh, more than you would expect to in the 3rd installment of a movie.

I had one of the worst sleeps of my life last night. Not only was I terrified from Signs, but one of our neighbours from down the street had his annual drunk and was yelling at the top of his lungs until about 4 a.m. I'm so totally in Kingston. Did I mention that there was a square dancing festival this past weekend? I grew up in hell, and didn't notice.

Tomorrow (or today depending on your time zone) I am off to Toronto for a couple of days. Hopefully it will be nice. I'm really homesick for Prague. The cats here don't like me. But there is a lot of Star Trek. My sister got me the childrens' novelization of Attack of the Clones, which I read in less than an hour. It was still nice, and I have an idea of some of the scenes that were cut. I haven't gone looking for my old books. I should, but I'm feeling less than ambitious and like laying in bed for the next five days until it's time to go home. Not that I don't like Canada, but I'm just not able to relax right now. It's finally become clear to me where I want to be, which is nice, but I'm not there, so I'm going a little crazy. I can't imagine I'm too fun to be around either right now. Still my parents are being cool about it.

Off to bed. I should sleep better tonight. No aliens.

HRH

Signs

It's midnight here, and I'm not going to sleep any time soon. Why? I just got back from watching the movie Signs. I get scared in movies sometimes, I've been known to cover my eyes rather than see something gory, but I don't think that in all my time of movie watching, I've screamed in terror at a movie. Until now.

Know that I am not an avid scary movie buff. I like action movies and science fiction, where the bad guys usually dissolve rather than gross me out. I spent most of Blade 2 covering my eyes, as it was damn icky, and not something I need saved in my visual memory.

I mention again that I screamed out loud, like, in an uncontrolable way. My friends beside me where laughing at me for most of the movie, being the scary movie veterans that they are. My muscles are so totally tense.

I'm still trying to digest if it was actually a good film. It was shot in the usual M.K.S. style, where visuals you would normally trust in a film, like an artistic pan across a living room, or pulling back to show the background of a scene, become your enemy. As though he (the director) is saying "I'm going to show you something that's going to scare you and there's nothing you can do about it." Often the camera rests on a shot before you become aware of the scary content. There are not enough lights on in my house right now. For the first time I agree with M on the notion that my parents house is a damn scary place. Especially (sp?) now. I know that there is nothing but an expanse of dark space behind my head right now and it's all I can do to just type. M is going to need to be sedated to see this one. He almost bruised my leg from grabbing it so hard during The Sixth Sense. We are not scary movie people.

Which is why M.K.S. movies are so bittersweet. Really great films, cleverly written and a truly entertaining veiwing expereince. You can see that this guy adores his films. He's a real auter (sp?, again, to scared to spell), writing, directing and producing his own films. And he's done something I truly admire in that he's making the films he wants to make and being hugely successful. His films are good and his success is well deserved. Someone said to me this weekend when I told them about my film school issues that "walking into film school and saying you want to make action/sci-fi films for the mass market is like walking into music school and saying you want to write film scores." Good amibitions in my mind, but blasphemous in the eyes of flim and music snobs alike.

It's 6 days until I go back home to Prague (I love how I have to designate where home is). I'm looking forward to it. Canada is nice, but it's been really crazy. It's been wonderful seeing friends and family, but I feel like the smile I'm wearing is going to crack off my face. I miss my home and my boys (M, Zeus and Oscar) and I'm sure when I get home, I'm going to miss my family and Canada friends. I'll never get this right.

Okay, now one of my parents cats is scaring me. This is so totally not a night I want to be sleeping alone. Did I mention how creepy this house is?

HRH

Blowing Bubbles

So I'm back from my dive. My very dark and murky dive. Dad said that he hasn't had a dive that dark this year. Ah well, it was still nice to get underwater for awhile.

Still waters run deep.

HRH

Retail Therapy

While yesterday started off gloomy and glum, it was quickly fixed by some shopping. Not window shopping or grabbing an item or two, but a huge diva worthy haul of clothes. New pants (long pants that actually fit me!), new tops, some skirts (a denim skirt that, again, actually fits me), a sweater and a new purse. All of this purchased at three stores within the same strip mall or shopping plaza or whatever you call them. Blessings to the creators of Winners, Jacob and Old Navy. Yay for stores where I'm not the biggest size, where pants don't make me look like there's a flood in progress, and where things are damn affordable. Bring these stores to the CR, get me satellite TV and I'm a happy, happy, well dressed, woman.

I'm about to head off for my first dive of my vacation. We're going to be diving on one of my favourite wrecks. It's called the comet and it's an old paddle wheeler.Very fun. It's a great wreck to do handstands and summersaults off of.

My father has just commented that my growing knee problems are a result of wearing bad shoes. I'm suddenly seeing myself in birkenstocks again...

Yikes, I'm going to get my teeth cleaned today. I watched Harry Potter twice yesterday, and 2 eps of Star Trek TNG. Weee.

HRH